There is a popular writer on Twitter who is saccharinely adorable in her tweets. She is always struggling with the same things that toddlers do, like unzipping coats and keeping cereal in the bowl. Yesterday, she posted another one of her twee updates to her hundreds of thousands adoring followers about how quirky she is. … More A Reckoning with McDonald’s 40th Anniversary Happy Meal Toys
On Halloween, I put a bowl of candy out for the earlybirds while it was still daylight. A couple of the pregaming neigborhood kids came sniffing around like they wanted to say hi to my kids and show off their costumes. Of course, they were really sniffing for some tailgater candy, which is like “free” … More Halloween Hangover
God that sentence feels good. It also feels fake and stupid. Some of you have been reading this blog for a large chunk of your life. God, just fucking thank you for being here. The Surfing Pizza, your friendly neighborhood blogger who writes about how Nintendo and Teddy Ruxpin made them warped as a kid, … More My Debut Collection of Essays is Forthcoming.
My son is in the big leagues of elemetary school this year, which means I’m in the big leagues of PTA events. And nothing is bigger than the PTA Trunk or Treat. It’s the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer. I want to clarify a misconception about Trunk or Treats. Some people think that it’s a replacement … More The Creative Process of Making a UFO: A Halloween Post
You might recall I set out to flip thousands of dollars worth of thrift store items on eBay. The goal: buy a bitchin’ hot tub. Well, I got bored. Antsy. ADHD. Then I got a bonus at work. My brain began searching for other income streams. When my grandmother died almost twenty years ago, she … More In Which I Buy a Hot Tub, Eagerly Await Its Glorious Arrival. And The Universe Says Nah.