Where am I? I am in my house in the middle of a raging pandemic. I am freaked out and stressed, but also completely fine. A few weeks ago, I bought an AeroGarden, an indoor hydroponic herb garden. Now it overflows with fresh herbs that have never known adversity -- not the slightest breeze or … Continue reading Where Am I?
Last night my wife and I built a kitchen playset for our daughter. I called it the Petite Pink Bitchin' Kitchen. It's a hearty thing made of pressed plywood and cancer warnings -- the kind of cancer you can only get in California. I think. It'll off-gas. With little pots and plastic burners, its the … Continue reading The Petite Pink Bitchin Kitchen
There is a popular writer on Twitter who is saccharinely adorable in her tweets. She is always struggling with the same things that toddlers do, like unzipping coats and keeping cereal in the bowl. Yesterday, she posted another one of her twee updates to her hundreds of thousands adoring followers about how quirky she is. … Continue reading A Reckoning with McDonald’s 40th Anniversary Happy Meal Toys
On Halloween, I put a bowl of candy out for the earlybirds while it was still daylight. A couple of the pregaming neigborhood kids came sniffing around like they wanted to say hi to my kids and show off their costumes. Of course, they were really sniffing for some tailgater candy, which is like "free" … Continue reading Halloween Hangover
My son is in the big leagues of elemetary school this year, which means I'm in the big leagues of PTA events. And nothing is bigger than the PTA Trunk or Treat. It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer. I want to clarify a misconception about Trunk or Treats. Some people think that it's a replacement … Continue reading The Creative Process of Making a UFO: A Halloween Post