I WANT TO DIE: Feast Mode. Offiicial WDW merch, limited edition print of Pooh ready to go feast mode on a smackerel of hunny. Only $44.99 and perfect for wearing in line at Burger King when you want one of those Oreo pies you don’t have to chew before swallowing. Distressed Pooh screen art for … More Winnie The Pooh Shirts, Ranked By My Will to Live
It’s #EssayWednesday! Today I’ll be posting a travelogue of our family roadtrip to Ohio, which we went on two weeks ago. Remember, I’m posting 3x times a week, except on days in which I’m deathly ill, which was the case on Monday. Facebook said I had the flu. The Internet said I had bronchitis. But … More The Surfing Pizza Goes to Ohio
I’m going to start posting three times a week. As I strive to get my essay collection published, I want to rebuild my audience and platform so I can sell enough books to buy a party yacht. And it looks like I can get a superyacht for $275 million. On average, an author makes about … More People to Take On Dates to Applebee’s for Dollaritas
So I wrote this, not to brag — because there’s nothing to brag about. But to perhaps inspire or encourage someone to keep hustling, keep writing, keep doing. This is my timeline. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 1980. Born. This is where I’m supposed to say something generic about how … More Look Out Literary World: A Time Line of Being a Writer
It was middle school. It was the science fair. And it was mandatory. I need to go on record with this one. Just to clarify what the fuck I was thinking. Not that anyone remembers or cares. Except I imagine myself perched on a velvet throne chair in the memory of a teacher somewhere, some grizzled … More My Science Fair Project, Explained. Years Later.