My Pet Trollop

Taking a break from my for real writing this week. Life has been hard the past two weeks as a parent, being scared of simple, mundane life things, like sending children to school. I don’t have thoughts beyond that, but I do have trollops. Let’s talk about the pack of trollops I got from the … More My Pet Trollop

Jim Henson

She is a traveling circus. Tracy and her Magical Mystery Machine rolls into town, room 194 in the ICU, everyday at noon. She brings with her a processional of elephants, clowns on tricycles, jugglers, fire-breathers, the dialysis machine, and the striking blonde beauty herself. The audience gasps. The respirator respirates. Tracy got the eggplant purple … More Jim Henson

Things I Found at the Bottom of the Ball Pit

I used to think nostalgia was something you have because you loved something once. Nostalgia is something you have because you survived something once. First you survived your childhood, and even if it was a great one, it still tried to kill you over and over. Ask your parents. You toddled toward electrical sockets, loomed over … More Things I Found at the Bottom of the Ball Pit

A Letter From the Kid You Invited to Your First Grade Bday

  Yo, it’s me, the kid you invited to your first grade bday party. We weren’t friends but you invited all of your classmates. First grade, kids are nice. The politicized lines of friendship and who gets invites in their cubbies aren’t yet drawn. I was squarely in the classmate category and I knew it, though I … More A Letter From the Kid You Invited to Your First Grade Bday

The Candwich, A Complete History of the World’s Only Sandwich in a Can

This is the story of the Candwich, the sandwich marketed as the world’s only sandwich in a can. It’s a uniquely American story nearly three decades in the making — one of novelty, invention, entrepreneurialism, fraud, failure, and just general skeeving people out. And while it’s been found in fractured pieces and reviews online, I’m … More The Candwich, A Complete History of the World’s Only Sandwich in a Can