A Reckoning with McDonald’s 40th Anniversary Happy Meal Toys

There is a popular writer on Twitter who is saccharinely adorable in her tweets. She is always struggling with the same things that toddlers do, like unzipping coats and keeping cereal in the bowl. Yesterday, she posted another one of her twee updates to her hundreds of thousands adoring followers about how quirky she is. … More A Reckoning with McDonald’s 40th Anniversary Happy Meal Toys

The Creative Process of Making a UFO: A Halloween Post

My son is in the big leagues of elemetary school this year, which means I’m in the big leagues of PTA events. And nothing is bigger than the PTA Trunk or Treat. It’s the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer. I want to clarify a misconception about Trunk or Treats. Some people think that it’s a replacement … More The Creative Process of Making a UFO: A Halloween Post

In Which I Buy a Hot Tub, Eagerly Await Its Glorious Arrival. And The Universe Says Nah.

You might recall I set out to flip thousands of dollars worth of thrift store items on eBay. The goal: buy a bitchin’ hot tub. Well, I got bored. Antsy. ADHD. Then I got a bonus at work. My brain began searching for other income streams. When my grandmother died almost twenty years ago, she … More In Which I Buy a Hot Tub, Eagerly Await Its Glorious Arrival. And The Universe Says Nah.

A Story About My Wife Getting Accosted in the Dog Food Aisle

Last week, while grocery shopping, my wife was accosted by a Blue Buffalo representative in the dog food aisle. Maybe it was the long day, the first week of back to school, or that thin, surreal peace of after the kids finally go to sleep — but the story cracked me up. I begged her … More A Story About My Wife Getting Accosted in the Dog Food Aisle