In 2003, American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson and runner-up Justin Guarini appeared in a contractual obligation disguised as a film. From Justin to Kelly was a Bacchanalia of white boy rapper sidekicks, bucket hats, pukka shell necklaces, sincere uses of the word “posse,” towel dance choreography, bare midriffs, and whipped cream bikini contests.  Looking back … More I Saw From Justin to Kelly in the Theater. This is my Story.

Payless ShoeSource is closing nationwide. I’ve reached the point in my life where all deaths make me sad. People deaths, snackcake deaths, store deaths, the weird warm day in the sixties a few days after it snows, melting that last patches of sludgey snow deaths. There was the death of the behemoth Toys R Us, … More The Payless Eulogy

Christmas ended forty-two days ago, and I am finally taking down the outdoor Christmas lights. I feel lazy, lumpy. Sheepish. I feel watched, as though the neighbors are looking out the window and flagging to one another that the intervention is off. 7806 is finally cleaning up their act. I climb up the ladder and … More How I Feel Taking Down the Christmas Lights in February

We need to talk. It’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up, but I haven’t found the right way to approach it. It’s the long chicken sandwich at Burger King. Something isn’t right about it. It’s deeply unsettling. It’s like it had aspirations to be a sub,  but ended up as the rubbery chicken sandwich … More Examining The Burger King Long Chicken

On a blog writing hiatus, but I’ll be back. In the interim, please enjoy these robots I made.