My son is in the big leagues of elemetary school this year, which means I’m in the big leagues of PTA events. And nothing is bigger than the PTA Trunk or Treat. It’s the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer. I want to clarify a misconception about Trunk or Treats. Some people think that it’s a replacement … More The Creative Process of Making a UFO: A Halloween Post

You might recall I set out to flip thousands of dollars worth of thrift store items on eBay. The goal: buy a bitchin’ hot tub. Well, I got bored. Antsy. ADHD. Then I got a bonus at work. My brain began searching for other income streams. When my grandmother died almost twenty years ago, she … More In Which I Buy a Hot Tub, Eagerly Await Its Glorious Arrival. And The Universe Says Nah.

Last week, while grocery shopping, my wife was accosted by a Blue Buffalo representative in the dog food aisle. Maybe it was the long day, the first week of back to school, or that thin, surreal peace of after the kids finally go to sleep — but the story cracked me up. I begged her … More A Story About My Wife Getting Accosted in the Dog Food Aisle

I need to take a break from writing real writing, and I just want to update my blog and spend no more than .0001 seconds crafting each word or sentence. JUST LOOK. AT MY. COOLER. It’s so beautiful, it’s almost sexual. My wife gave me this cooler to celebrate Father’s Day. It was between this … More Please Look at $100 Worth of Sexual Cooler Gear

Took the kids to a horse park. It’s my happy place of a horse park, and I didn’t know a horse park could be among my happy places. Having kids makes you have strange happy places. Former happy places become inaccessible, impossible to reach. They become sealed off tombs to be one day discovered by … More Took the Kids to a Horse Park