Okay, so who are you?

A person with a secret identity. A writer. A weirdo. A genius. An idiot. I began life four days after Christmas, which means people are sick to death of buying presents by the time it’s my birthday, and I usually just get gift cards. I was born in 1980. My current life ambition is to win something, anything in a raffle. I have never won a raffle prize and I find that hard to believe. Hell, I even won the Mega Millions twice—17 bucks total.

I am pretty liberal and listen to rock and roll. I am a Beatles geek. I am fervently against double dipping and I rage into the good night against burritos that are still frozen in the middle after cooking. I am of average height and weight. I have a nice head of hair. I am training to become strong. As a child, I never had a cavity.

How did you come up with a Surfing Pizza?

I love surf music and pizza. DONE.

How do you say the Surfing Pizza in Spanish?

Oh, weren’t you wondering? La Pizza Que Practica Surf.

Headquarters:  Baltimore, MD

Life Meter: Alive and well

Favorite pizza: It used be Domino’s, but they changed their recipe, so now I like that place up the street.

Likes: Pumpkin pie with whipped cream, action figures, rock and roll, getting the pretzel in Ms. Pac Man, pool side bars

Dislikes: anchovies, inflatable holiday decorations, nursing homes, gruel

Favorite Ages I Once Was

1. 10
2. 27
3. 9
4. 28
5. 934

How can I write to THE PIZZA?

See first comment below for an endorsement from my mother (who has since passed, love you mom!) for THE SURFING PIZZA:


45 responses to “ABOUT ME

  1. Well, my goodness! Thats right, damn it, no cavities and you never had a weight problem. I don’t think I am given enough credit here! You know, you get your sunny disposition, writing ability AND love of pizza from me.

  2. Hey, great site and hilarious topics. I have even begun reading your archives. I have one complaint…why can’t I see any of this on Netflix? I have used the Search feature and cannot seem to find where anyone has made a show off your stories. Pity too since they are mucho funny! Either way, keep up the good work and let me know if you need a toy!!!

    • Chalk it up as this is one writer who is not a sell-out :p
      Or at least I hope so.
      Continue on Surfing Pizza…
      the world awaits the next enjoyment.
      I personally am sipping my after lunch java by the fire enjoying a few in your archive myself.

  3. oneheartonemind

    wonderful “righting” (I’m a photographer and it always looked good to me?) and comes at a time when we can use all the humor we can find.
    My best.

  4. Hey, look at that. I have a new favorite blog.

  5. Great blog! anything with pizza will do. Congrats on Freshly Pressed.

  6. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I’m enjoying reliving the eighties (read procrastinating) via your blog. I also live in Baltimore, and adore the pizza place up the street.

  7. Okay. You scare me. That’s always a plus. I need a new reading buddy.

    Now excuse me while I go order a pizza.

  8. Fantastic! Big fan of the 80’s as well. Happy to have landed here today via Freshly Pressed…congrats!

  9. Nice About Me! Very short and Concise!

    Question: What’s the symbolism of the no. “934”?

  10. New to WordPress but already a fan via Freshly Pressed! Keep up the good righting!

  11. Hey! I found your site after watching Mac and me (used to be my favorite movie as a kid).. however strange- I’m glad I did! you’re a great “righter”
    keep it up!

  12. Hahaha… good stuff! I, too, was born in the great year of 1980. Cheers!

  13. Where has your site been… this is the most awesome thing i have seen since….well since forever, great blogs, wonderful site, overall cool work!!

  14. You are hilarious, LOL. Your writing is very witty and unique and really caught my attention.

  15. Haha, I like your Mom’s response to your About Me.

  16. I love your writing. You’re awesome!

  17. As a self confessed geek I’ve to admit I really like your blog and your writing is really good, funny and unpretentious. You have won a new follower!. Vegan pizza for me, please!

  18. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. I have a cousin who is studying creative writing at John Hopkins. Being an aerospace engineer myself, I must admit I never knew that was the place for wannabe writers. I thought that was the school for wannabe doctors. But they must be doing something right, since you are funny!

  19. Hey there, found your blog from Freshly Pressed and immediately had the inclination to click that all important “Follow” button at the top of the screen. I love your style and look forward to seeing your posts pop up in my reader. Take care!

  20. You are my new hero. ’nuff said. I will definitely be added to your stalkers..ahem, I mean followers pronto. Keep up the awesomeness!

  21. I’ve spent a lot of time (see also: about five minutes total, covering about 3 months) seeking out truly hilarious blogs, and I suppose with all that hard work it was inevitable I would come across yours. And glad I am for such a thing! (Seriously who talks like I am right now? [Yoda.] I don’t even talk like this.) Anyhow, you’re delightfully witty and clever, and on top of it you know how to spell and use punctuation marks, which is paramount to me. Happy writing!

  22. (Also, would you mind if I linked your blog up to mine? You can check mine out at http://thelowpointoftheday.wordpress.com)

  23. everythingilluminate

    I love that you are a Beatles geek!

  24. Hey, I wanted to let you know I nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award for all the cool stuff you write. Here’s the link. http://crosslenz.wordpress.com/2012/07/21/my-versatile-blogger-award/

  25. Yes! Just discovered your blog via Full House Reviewed… stumbling across The Surfing Pizza is possibly greater than even the most epic of yard sale finds. Expect some comments way back in the archives!

  26. I like when people talk about their toys, plastic finds and little things. This blog is all about that :D

  27. Love your blog! I’m glad I stumbled upon it, and I can’t wait to read more!

  28. This is one of the more interesting blogs I have ever come across. Surfing pizza? Genius! Shark intro? Genius! All this amazing content and unconventional story telling is very addicting.

    Awesome blog Mr. Surfing Pizza.

  29. Great blog! I have had a bit of a chuckle reading through some o your posts.

  30. Your blog is so interesting, I can’t stop reading! :)

  31. Most righteous blog, it keeps me at bay while at work! SO GOOD!

  32. Where do I start?
    Well. Thank God I came across your blog….
    I think that sums it all up.
    *hits follow button*

  33. Trick or Treat! I nominated you for The Most Creative Blogger Award! See my blog for more details! http://sincerelykaterz.wordpress.com/2013/10/30/trick-or-treat/

  34. This blog makes me want to put on a onesie open up a pack of gushers, and watch The Neverending Story on repeat. I’m only not doing it right now because thats what I did last Monday night, and I’m all out of gushers.

  35. I nominated you for a Sunshine Blogger Award. If you want to participate in the acceptance “rules” you can read my post. http://jfrensley.wordpress.com/2014/01/02/sunshine-on-a-rainy-day/?preview=true&preview_id=846&preview_nonce=3c66a01359&post_format=standard
    If you don’t want to I won’t be offended. Just wanted you to know you have brought me sunshine through your writing and stories. : )

  36. i am either technically handicapped or u haven’t activated your like button….kindly let me know when you come out with out secret, awesome book…you can add me to the list of your ‘one million copies sold’….

  37. Some day I would love to read your book. Keep on writing. :)

  38. Love the stories – brings me back to my childhood days and just makes me feel good! – Your Bookmarked!! :)

  39. Hilarious site, the About page, even more so! :D Pizzas drew me to this site and I am not disappointed!
    *hand involuntarily drops pizza slice and hits follow button*

  40. Hi there! Just wanted you to know that I think your blog is great and I have nominated you for The Versatile Blogger Award! (no pressure to accept) Take a peek: http://wp.me/p5queU-5Y
    ~Lisa @ Cuppa Sunshine & Sugar

  41. Oh my goodness… I kind of love your blog. Yeah. Definitely love it.

  42. Hilarious! This is my new favorite blog. :)

  43. I did a Google search for Pizzerias (the greatest snack food ever) & discovered your blog. Loving your entries!!!!

  44. Just got my Swiss Colony catalog and somehow ended up on your site. Thanks for a really good laugh!! Funny you should mention that raccoon log cake. I was actually looking at it and thinking…’wow, they look kinda trapped and scared’. You have to check out the Swiss Colony Men’s Curve Crush after shave…”its provocative, energetic scent of crisp herbs, warm musk and earthy moss is sure to intrigue.” I don’t know but this sounds like something that belongs in a petri dish. Love your blog!

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