Winnie The Pooh Shirts, Ranked By My Will to Live

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I WANT TO DIE:

Feast Mode. Offiicial WDW merch, limited edition print of Pooh ready to go feast mode on a smackerel of hunny. Only $44.99 and perfect for wearing in line at Burger King when you want one of those Oreo pies you don’t have to chew before swallowing.

  • Distressed Pooh screen art for vintage styling
  • Soft jersey knit
  • Contrast short raglan sleeves

Fuck Bitches Get Hunny. Junior M.A.F.I.A. lyrics, appropriated and printed on 100% Cotton, available in sizes XS to XXXXXL. Perfect for:

  • Voluteer fire department spaghetti dinners
  • Riding on the bitch pad
  • Picking up your prescription for Klonopin at CVS

NUMB:

Winnie’s on the front hugging a barrel of hunny. Piglet’s on the back, holding onto a balloon that’s floating away.

  • Business in the front, party in the back
  • Oversized and hangs below the knees, might be a nightgown
  • Cancerous shade of 90s pink not seen since the height of Caboodles

Spray Paint Graffiti Shirt Purchased on Boardwalk in Ocean City, 1994. Boyfriend named “Dan” paid for it, also sprung for fries. What a keeper.

  • Says “Brandy”
  • Accessorize with puka shell necklace
  • Actually looks pretty fricken sweet

GONNA NEED TO RE-UP MY ANTI-DEPRESSANTS:

Pooh and Piglet Friends Forever. We will be friends until forever, just you wait and see.

  • As ice sheets melt, they take weight off land, and that can trigger earthquakes — seismic activity is already increasing in Greenland and Alaska.
  • Quadrupled commodity prices, civil unrest, significant negative humanitarian consequences
  • Food riots break out in urban areas across the Middle East, North Africa, and Latin America. The euro weakens and the main European stock markets lose ten percent

Demin Vest With Pooh and Bumblebees. Light wash denim, soft, classic, looks as good as it feels.

  • Your name is Jean
  • You were created in God’s image
  • You’re excited when Triscuits comes out with a new flavor

 

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