Countdown: This Weirdo Stocking Stuffer


I found this oddity at Target in the stocking stuffer aisle. For five bucks, it promised I might find an actual diamond in 1 out of 24 boxes.  Plus it was in an irresistably shiny foil box. SOLD. Whatever this item was. SOLD.

And when I opened the box and discovered these items inside, my excitement was 10/10. Maybe even 11/10:


I mean, look! Tiny digging instruments! A near-useless brush! A GIANT HUNK OF HARD BLUE SAND.

10 minutes later…


ADHD Me has arrived. I can’t take it anymore. This thing is grindy to do. This mallet is useless. I’m ready to take this thing out back and throw it at a wall.

20 minutes later…


Welp, I didn’t get a diamond. Enter day-ruining soul-crushing disappointment. In the words of Charlie Brown, I got a rock.



3 responses to “Countdown: This Weirdo Stocking Stuffer

  1. I saw the Gold version of this last month (also in target). It was tough to resist the purchase (my wife wouldn’t green-light it, and I durstn’t insist). Thanks for taking me through the diamond experience, though I still can’t tell if it’s worth it. I mean, WHAT IF THAT HAD BEEN A DIAMOND?

    • Yes! Someone who understands. WHAT IF HAD BEEN A DIAMOND?!! I KNOWWWWWWWW. I almost bought the gold version too. But then I was like whoa that would be $10, reel it in, plus I was already buying 5 other stupid things.

  2. Hahaha, I saw this at Target two days ago and almost bought it for my brother (…and maybe one for myself). But I didn’t. I also didn’t buy myself a chocolate advent calendar, so you KNOW I was exhibiting massive amounts of self-control!

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