I’ve been entertaining the idea of doing a countdown on the blog. I am supremely obscenely excited for Christmas this year, and I’ve been thinking of counting down the days and posting everyday. Then last night I had a dream that I’d decided to do a Star Wars or Christmas Countdown. Since I’m also supremely obscenely excited for the new movie, it seemed like divine intervention.
So each day I will post something about Christmas or Star Wars. Or both. I will be ordering weird chocolates from Swiss Colony and raiding Dollar Trees for the crappiest Star Wars merchandise humanly possible. I will be baking cakes and blowing up my kitchen while wearing a Stormtrooper mask. I do not have a Stormtrooper mask. I will be purchasing one. I will be making more awful MS-Paint headers. I will document every single facet of the Event that is CHRISTMAS 2015. I will be drinking egg nog out of R2-D2 shaped mugs. I will be celebrating until I sweat funfetti. And then I will promptly rush to the ER if that actually happens.
I will probably end up hating both Christmas and Star Wars by the time this countdown is over, overindulged and full by both, like when you eat too much FOOOOOOOOOOOD — and yet by having too much, that is the only way you know you enjoyed it.
Before I start, I should admit my track record on Star Wars is bad. Like I would get a D- for my fandom bad. I’ve only seen the original trilogy once, as in VHS-copy-recorded-off-the-TV once. In some ways, that’s the purest, rightest way to do it.
To right this wrong, I’ve started re-watching the new Blu-rays, and after binge-watching and loving the prequels, I fell asleep during the trash compactor sequence of A New Hope.
Yes, I love the prequels, and fell asleep during A New Hope. I am a terrible human being.
I’m trying to do right by my son though.
So to kick off the countdown, I present this box of Trix with the rabbit dressed as Leia:
I salute this jarringly odd gender-bending depiction. I also commend ACTUAL PRIZES in the cereal box. Inside every box is a droid viewer. Even the words “droid viewer” sound like they’re dipped in the 1980s. Tasty. I am now the proud owner of a near-complete set of droid viewers, as well as a six-month supply of Mini Trix, Honey Nut Cheerios, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Reese Cereal. (Anyone out there want to trade me an R2-D2?)