Summer means blockbusters means merchandising frenzies. And I’m loving the dino-crap goodness of it all. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I’m planning to this week.
About two weeks ago, I went to Toys-R-Us
giving myself explicit permission to purchase any Jurassic World item I so desired.
Actually, it was for my kid. He and I collect dinosaurs, y’know. (Insert comment from the wife: “he’s a baby. He doesn’t collect anything.”
Honestly, I was a little disappointed in the line of Jurassic World toys. The basic dino figures are drab and modern-plasticky-looking. Toys in the 80s and 90s had that certain sheen about them, but they must have removed some cancer-causing-chemical, because now all toys have a dullness in their colors. There were also some kind of Transformers/dinosaur/rock’em sock’em hybrid toys that just looked stupid as hell.
When I walked down the Hot Wheels aisle, it was then that I finally found some worthy Jurassic World toys. I came home with this. For my son.
I also found out that Wal-Mart has an exclusive mystery bag of mixed miniature dinosaur figures. It’s waaaaay overpriced at $15, but I shelled out. Again, for my son.
I do realize that die-cast metal cars and choking-hazard dinosaurs are not appropriate for an 11-month old, so I’ll just have to keep them for myself until then.
Of course, the Jurassic World item I was most excited for was the Peeps Dinosaur Eggs. Because look at it:
Now I’m going to disappoint you. They’re disgusting. They’re “blue raspberry”-flavored, which is a really unfortunate dental-fluoride-like flavor. Added bonus: my mouth broke out in canker sores within a few minutes of eating it. Added added bonus: each egg is 110 calories. That’s like 20 minutes of jogging. I hate myself.
Other potentially cool JW items that I might have to pick up for my son:
This Mosasaurus Plush:
This Lunchbox Which is Kind of Amazing:
This Book Because It’s Called Danger: Dinosaurs and That’s a Life Lesson He’ll Need
Although I think we all kind of wish that kid in the picture didn’t survive.