50 Days of Summer: Ice Cream Review

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Dude. I’m totally using my 50 Days theme as a justification for trying a billion ice creams this summer. The first thing to catch my eye was Airheads Extremes Ditz Ice Cream. That’s way way too many titles. So let’s just call it what it really is: Dippin’ Dots.

And because The Surfing Pizza is known for its comprehensive journalism, let’s take a quick detour through the history and science of Dippin’ Dots.

1987: Microbiologist Curt Jones begins research to cryogenically freeze ice cream into small beads.

– The first flavor is vanilla.

– The most popular flavor is Cookies & Cream.

– The least popular flavor is Lamb Shanks & Gravy

– I made that up. If it exists, the least popular is Rum Raisin or Butter Pecan or some other old person flavor.

1992: Dippin’ Dots acquired a patent on its ice cream and, in 1996, sued its main competitor, Mini Melts.

2009: The Dippin’ Dots At-Home Maker is unleashed. It sucks and crushes the will of children everywhere. I will quote three Amazon reviews to give you the gist:

– “Basically, what you’re getting is a very over-engineered ice cube tray.”

– “There seems to be no point to the steps you go through to produce the final product here.”

– “I was expecting something that makes dippin dots like the dippin dots you buy in the stores. However, it just makes tiny round ice cubes basically from whatever drink you choose. Also, the frozen dots all stick together in chunks. I do not recommend this.”

2011: Dippin’ Dots files for bankruptcy. Of course, the entire future of ice cream hinges on this. Thankfully, John Connor sends a Terminator back in time to prevent Judgement Day.

2013: Local DC bartender invents Drinkin’ Dots, combining alcohol and the nitrogen-enhanced ice cream. Dippin’ Dots threatens litigation. They are renamed “Cryo-Spheres.”

2015: Airheads gets into the nitrogen ice cream game with Ditz.

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One word review: Yes.

One-hundred-word review: It’s like if Fruity Pebbles and Dippin’ Dots had a baby. Yes, it’s really that good. These are amazing.  I am amazed. They are so cold they burn my mouth a little but I don’t even care. I got the Fruitiest Fruit flavor,  which claims to be comprised of “Blue Raspberry,” “Green Apple,” and “Orange.” But it doesn’t taste like that. It just tastes like Fruity Pebbles. It’s not sherbert-y; it’s a definite ice-cream experience. The other flavor is a Mixed Berry one. I am definitely adding those to my shopping list.

Review written in a language so that extra-terrestrial aliens can read it: Zxxc–%#%ytyp!&

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12 responses to “50 Days of Summer: Ice Cream Review

  1. Fruitiest Fruit is quite the name for something that probably contains zero fruit (I’m guessing). Sounds good though, guess I gotta try them!

  2. WOW! I wanna try these so bad! I remember buying Air Heads at the Snack Bar at our local pool for like 5 cents a piece. Combine that with Dippin’ Dots we would always get at Lagoon (Utah’s amusement park) and you have something magical!

    Now if only there were a TV commercial for these bad boys!

  3. LOVE Dippin’ Dots! Got them at Kennywood park in Pittsburgh! 😛

  4. I only counted 93 words…yes I counted. Don’t judge.

  5. When I got to your Lamb Shanks and Gravy bit I guffawed so loudly my parrot nearly fell off her perch. She swore roundly at me in bird language. I think the worst flavor description I ever found was ‘Pleasant Fruity Mint’. It was not pleasant. I heartily applaud your sneaky way to justify eating lots and lots of ice cream!

  6. If Jelly Belly can do the Harry Potter vomit flavored jelly beans, Dippin’ Dots can do Lamb Shanks and Gravy. I would prefer Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding.

  7. Ugh! I can’t believe you actually tried it. I also can’t imagine ‘vomit’ flavored anything would be anything but foul.

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