Since I literally haven’t left the house in eight weeks, have absolutely nothing to write about, and seriously considered writing a post in which I reviewed the contents of my refrigerator, let’s do another giveaway. It’s easy. You leave a comment. I choose someone at random. You win BOTH of these Voltron shirts.
The comment topic is: What is in your refrigerator?
I’ll go first.
Quarter-used jar of banana pepper rings. Despair level: 3. They’re still maintaining their bright colors well.
Unopened mustard. Despair level: 0. Mustard can be ominously old and despairing, but this one was purchased just last week.
Four other jars of opened mustard. Despair level: 10. Because ominous.
1 Week Old Hummus, somewhat eaten. Despair level: 4. It’s healthy, well-intentioned, and very much nearing the end of its natural shelf life.
Pack of String Cheese: Despair level: 0. Personally, I’m living off of cheese these days.
Jar of Half-Used Spaghetti Sauce: Despair level: 10. Unknown dates. It’s at that state of congealment where it looked like it made a last-ditch effort to climb out of the jar before succumbing to the back of the fridge FOREVER.
3 stalks of Celery: Despair level: 1. They’re a little past that cheerful bright green color, but the wife will tell you they’re still perfectly fine to consume. Think I’ll go for the string cheese.
Mayonnaise. Despair level: Unknown. Ehh, I’m sketched out, but it’s another one of those things the wife insists is always perfectly fine to consume.
Juice Boxes: Despair level 0 or 10, depending on if you think I’m too old to be drinking juice boxes.
Carton of Orange Juice with that one awful sip left. Despair level: 8. Ugh. That sip that’s always left at the bottom, thick, pulpy, and partially frozen, is the worst. THE WORST.
One sickening pound of pre-cut squares of cheese platter from Costco. Despair level 10. Because it’s weeks old and evidence that no single human being can eat two pounds worth of cheese platter before it expires. But God knows I tried.
Really Disgusting Looking Bottle of Homemade Salad Dressing. Despair level: 300. I just want to throw the whole thing out and cut the losses over the reusable tupperware it’s in. At this point, the mysterious, glistening liquid looks as though it might have become sentient and smile back at me if I were to open the lid in any fashion.
Okay, now tell me, what’s in yours? Feel free to give as little or as much detail as you want. Name one thing or name everything. A week from today, September 10th, I will pick a winner and email you. You win both shirts courtesy of tvstoreonline.com, which carry a cool selection of pop-culture related shirts and novelties.