I’ve been hitting a magical streak of finding unopened generic 80s/90s toys at the thrift store. Two weeks ago it was those walkies talkies, yesterday it was this amazing ELECTRONIC PULSATING FAZER II. (No doubt an upgrade from the Fazer I, if that ever even existed.) Like the walkie talkies, I bought it with the intention of selling it. Some weirdo on eBay would want this random generic toy gun from 1991.
Aaaand that weirdo is me.
I had to surgically extract the long-dead demonstration batteries, which had exploded and leaked twenty-year old battery acid on my hands during the excavation. Pretty sure my cancer risk just increased another 1% today.
There is nothing particularly special about this toy gun. It’s your standard toy gun that makes the same dinky electronic sounds that they all make, running through a pattern of telephone rings, machine gun sounds, and other singsong beeps, while flashing blue/red and vibrating.
And yet, upon closer examination, it just had these lovable 1990s hallmarks about it: the “rad” neon colors and the futuristic see-through “science.”
Gah. I’m a goner. I’M KEEPING IT. One day, me and the boy are going to have a ray-gun battle, and the classic 1991 Pulsating Fazer (II) will be weapon of my choice.