I’ve been looking for these EVERYWHERE. Alright, it’s true, I haven’t. I hoped I would just magically run into them at some point during October, and I finally did last night in Wal-Mart. For all the bashing Wal-Marts get, they’re usually worth having around in Octobers when your crappy local Food Lion fails you.
Scary Blackberry Kool-Aid aka Ghoul-Aid aka The Nectar of the Gods is Kool-Aid’s seasonal October flavor. It was legendary in the 1980s, and then it disappeared for a long time (approximately 6 million years) before finally making its long-awaited return to the shelves a few years ago. 2013 marks for the first year it’s available in Jammer format. This is monumental because—I actually have no idea. But if I was eight, I would know the answer.
Nevermind, I do know the answer. Juice pouches rule. Poking that little yellow straw in that impossibly tiny foil hole rocks. It rocks. It’s a simple pleasure in life, right up there next to using that little red stick that comes in Handi-snacks. And if you don’t remember these pleasures, then you grew up, and I’m sorry.
Dude, if they ever make this in those plastic bottles, Bursts, my head will explode from excitement. But for now, Jammers will have to do.
See? 100% Vitamin C. It means you will never get scurvy if you drink these. It means it basically counts as a vegetable, will stave off the flu, and help you dream in more vivid technicolor.
I was so excited to break into this box of Ghoul-Aid that I failed to notice the box had a very special feature:
FRIDGE READY PACK. Too bad I just ripped and clawed at the box like a Velociraptor. In fact, a Velociraptor would be far more precision at opening this than I did. Anyway, it doesn’t matter because I don’t drink soft drinks cold. I only like them at room temperature, which disturbs everyone I know, except for the wife, who for some reason just accepts this and has taken to drinking room temp soda as well. We’re not the only ones, right?
Anyway, back to Ghoul-Aid, aka The Official Drink of Halloween aka Miracle Water aka GIVE ME A STRAIGHT UP IV OF THIS STUFF.
As the Kool-Aid Man would say OH YEEEEEAAAAHHHH. Life is good.