So I’ve been having some MAGICAL finds at the thrift store this season. Check this thing out. What IS IT? I mean, clearly it’s a “Giant Blow Me Up Haunting Hat,” but still, what IS THAT?
Seriously, if someone knows anything about Giant Blow Me Up Haunting Hats, please fill us in. Were they a craze? Were they a thing you would find in the back of a dollar store? Were they something your mom made you wear? Were they something self-chosen to wear? Was it a costume? Novelty party wear? What is the deal? I have literally no context for this found object.
EDIT: Someone on Twitter has hipped me that this is a knock-off of an inflatable series of costumes known as Kooky Spooks.
All I know is Halloween used to be one weird trip, and life is too manufactured now. I want to live in a world where people wear gigantic inflatable heads at Halloween. This trend (if it ever was one) needs to make a comeback.
Between this and the clown costume I found, I could basically have THE GREATEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE. Rocking an inflatable weird 1970s witch balloon and a weird 1980s chest face clown, no one could deny me. I’m going to start googling Halloween costume contests and start counting my prize winnings now.
I also found this amazing dinosaur mask, and I think this is going to be my actual costume for the annual friends party we go to:
I was so excited about it, I didn’t even wait to Lysol the thing down before trying it on my head. Like whatever germs, I’m a dinosaur now. I can’t even see out of this thing and it doesn’t matter—that’s the mark of a true Halloween costume. Whatever eyesight, I’m a dinosaur now.
The best part is that the eye holes are in the mouth. Nevermind that my actual eyes sit much higher up in the mask. I’m going to be a dinosaur with freaky mouth eyes. The second best part is when you put on this mask, there is instant human-to-dinosaur transformation. You instantly start roaring and lumbering and terrorizing (the dog.) The third best part is I only paid a dollar for it.
PS: I also can’t breathe in it. Whatever oxygen, I’M A DINOSAUR NOW.