Halloween Countdown: So Yeah I Found This…

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So this is the 1984 Ben Cooper Hairy Scary Clown Costume. I found it at the thrift store, neatly folded in a small box, obviously never worn. Because if it had been worn, it would have been ripped. Those plastic smocks never lasted the entire night of trick-or-treating. At least mine never did, but maybe it’s because I TRICK OR TREATED HARDCORE. Or because I refused to wear my glasses with my costume and I walked into stuff. Probably that.

Let’s ponder the reasons it was never worn. Oh yeah, there’s just one. BECAUSE IT’S FREAKING CREEPY AS HELL. I’m not into the whole “scary clown” thing, but I’m pretty sure I now own the Mother of All Scary Clown Things. Look at the expression on the mask. Look at the chest face. Seriously, THE CHEST FACE.

Kids today and their cotton/poly blend costumes. In the 1980s, we wore sheets of plastic that were barely a step up from kitchen trash bags. And the plastic wasn’t even really a costume itself, but just a picture of the thing you were supposed to be. In case you couldn’t tell the kid in the clown mask was supposed to be a clown, the gigantic terrifying CHEST FACE really drove it home.

Part of me wants to save this for my future kid just so I can see people’s faces as my kid struts around in this. Trick or treat. They’d be so scared, they’d just hand the whole bowl of candy over to us. Jackpot.

Part of me wants to BE THIS for Halloween and just pin that chest face to myself in all its raging glory.

Part of me wants to wear this out of context and just go to the grocery store in it.

Part of me just wants to get this thing out of the house right now. I don’t even know why I bought it, except to show you people on the Internet, and there now, I’ve done it. Time to burn it. Except you know this thing is hosed down in flame retardant, a fume I’m still nostalgic for to this day.

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17 responses to “Halloween Countdown: So Yeah I Found This…

  1. Yeah, a little odd, want to see you wear in grocery store – you’d get some looks!

  2. holy f I’m going to have nightmares just from this post. You totally have to be this for Halloween, if not to a party then at least while handing out candy to trick or treaters. It will be terrifying and awesome.

  3. If you look at the tenth picture down on this Urlesque post, you’ll see that wearing this costume did actually turn children into creepy maniacs:

    http://www.urlesque.com/2010/10/27/halloween-costumes-80s/

  4. Spooky! The things nightmares are made of! LOL. Hey.. have you seen the new Halloween Hotwheels? It’s worth buying one just for the card art. I’m posting a pic on the site within the hour.

    Cheers!

  5. That is…immensely creepy…

  6. dude, that’s a keeper. That costume needs to see some action.

  7. You know there has to be a whole story behind why this costume was never worn …you’re the one who could write it.

    Also another on someone wearing it out of context and where it might lead them (to the back of a squad car, possibly).

    Terrifying costume and great find.

  8. Saw one of these old costumes at a local thrift store two years ago. Someone must have worn it, since it was out of the box.
    http://jannghi.blogspot.com/2011/10/unusual-thrift-store-costume-find.html
    Despite how long these things existed, I can’t seem to remember wearing any of them. I must have had a lot of handmade costumes during that time. Some of the characters and real-life personalities depicted on these things were somewhat questionable, not seeming like something someone wanted to be for Halloween. Can you imagine this idea today, with SpongeBob Squarepants, and other currently popular characters and personalities?

  9. Gah! It’s amazing. I’ll trade you a Flow-Bee for it. ;)

  10. That is both horrid and awesome. I had a couple of those boxed plastic get ups. One year I was Sylvester the cat and another year I was a no frills black cat. BTW– remember the Kooky Spooks inflatable costumes?

  11. I don’t like clowns and, as an adult, I find them scary.
    This clown costume is creepy, even creepier than fake severed human body parts :(
    I will have nightmares :(

  12. I was not prepared for how terrifying that costume is.

  13. Wear it to WallyWorld, you’ll fit right in! ;)
    You may even end up on that certain website, ‘The People of…’

  14. That might just be sicker than the demon baby display at the Spirit store last year.

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