Stuff Post! Yard Sale Finds! Giveaway!

I haven’t done one of these posts in a whole month. Don’t worry, I’ve still found plenty of random stuff to display in my specimen lab. Or what I mean is my basement. Sometimes I feel like a paleontologist digging up old things, even though collecting toys is not like paleontology at all. But sometimes I want to pretend I’m a paleontologist. I even have a good hat I can wear.

Alright, let’s commence with the findings. I imagine paleontologists use fancy words like that. In the picture above is a bunch of random things. There’s that generic GI Joe figure case, known as the “Combat Collector’s Case.” Haha. It was a little banged up, but I couldn’t leave it behind for a dollar. Also here is a Rambo figure, a couple of California Raisins things, a set of the “baby” Ninja Turtles, a wind-up Madball, and some video games. They are: Super Glove Ball, Xexyz, Ghosts ‘N Goblins, and Double Dragon II.

Star Wars Candy Heads!

A few weeks ago, totally by chance, I drove past a yard sale sign that said “BIG TOY SALE” scrawled in marker. I followed the signs, my heart racing, even it was probably just going to be a bunch of baby toys. But as I pulled up to the person’s yard, I could see it was collectible stuff—all stuff I collected, toys from the 1970s and 1980s. And the guy was selling them for dirt cheap—a buck or two a piece.

It’s at this point that my wife interrupted the story when I told her and said, “yeah right, you’re making this up.”

“No, this is totally real. This guy had like everything. His entire front yard was filled with boxed toys from the 1980s that he was selling for a dollar each.”

“You must have dreamed this,” she said.

Folks, it was not a dream, but it did turn into a nightmare. I asked the guy if he had any Ninja Turtles stuff.

“Oh, I had two big boxes full, but someone just left with it, like two minutes before you got here.”

I felt sick to my stomach. Then I asked about Masters of the Universe and Transformers, the two other lines I’m hot on collecting right now.

“Same guy. Bought all that stuff. Really, it was like two minutes ago. Isn’t that funny?”

No, it’s not funny, and now I don’t even want to live on this planet anymore. I half-heartedly scrounged around the rest of the guy’s stuff, but now it just felt like picked over crap. Still, I found those Star Wars candy dispenser heads, and got them for a quarter a piece. They’re original from the early 1980s, and a few of them still have the thirty-year-old candy inside of them, which I briefly considered eating to kill myself.

I also managed to dig out these He-Man and Skeletor Bendy figures at the same yard sale, the Ninja Turtle Pizza Shooter vehicle, and Topspin, a G1 Transformer. All of it for three bucks. So there, guy two minutes before me. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED A FEW THINGS.

Something new I’m excited about collecting are the Street Sharks. The Street Sharks was an animated series that ran from 1994-1995 about four teenagers that mutated into crime-fighting sharks. It would be tempting to call it a thinly-veiled Ninja Turtles rip-off, but the Ninja Turtles were so over by 1994, and in fact, I’m going to go ahead and say the Street Sharks were cooler.

I mean, come on:

1) They were sharks. Duh.
2) JAWSOME is a better catchphrase than “cowabunga.”
3) They wore pants.

But the Street Sharks cartoon only lasted forty episodes, its accompanying comic book only lasted three measly issues, and Mattel only released a handful of action figures, many of which never made it past the prototype stage. But with all the shark week, shark memes, and shark love on the Internet, you’d think that the Street Sharks are due a sort of cultural revisiting.

Just look at these guys. The Street Sharks stuff is hard to find, but when you do, it’s dirt cheap because nobody knows what they are. I’ve had the leather-jacket-wearing guy for a while, but the Hammerhead and motorcycle-riding lobster are new additions. That’s right, I said MOTORCYCLE-RIDING LOBSTER. His name is Slobster and this is the SLOBSTER-ZOOKI. Every word I type is more awesome than the one before it.

The Street Sharks toys are really unique because they’re made with a soft rubber upper body. They’re large action figures with some weight to them. They’re made with a lot of care and attention to detail. They’re awesome. I mean, of course, JAWSOME.

Continuing in the trend of Ninja Turtle rip-offs, here are a couple of Toxic Crusaders figures, which I’ve also found recently. Except the Toxic Crusaders weren’t really a rip-off, either. The cartoon, which ran for just thirteen episodes, was about a group of pollution-fighting misfits who had been mutated by toxic sludge. It was loosely based on the Toxic Avenger films, a trilogy of violent B-movies that have since become cult classics. While the Avenger movies were typical midnight-movie gore, violence, and sex, the Crusaders cartoon was kid-friendly, law-abiding, and environmentally-conscious.

Playmates released an accompanying action figure line for the short-lived Toxic Crusaders cartoon, and the figures are remarkably similar to the Playmates Ninja Turtles figures that were being released at the same time. In fact, I originally bought these figures at a yard sale because I thought they were from the Ninja Turtles line.

The figures are made with the same mixture of 1980s wackiness with a bit of druggy edginess and surfer-dude aesthetic. A lot of people consider them to be a footnote or extension of the Ninja Turtles figure line. There are just nine figures in the series, and they seem like something that’s going to be worth some money in a few years when the 1990s nostalgia really kicks in.

ROBOT DUCK! I made the wife buy me this after she dragged me into an urban hipster store that sold soy candles, tables made from reclaimed wood, and coasters with wild bird names in cursive writing. And oh yeah, random rubber duckies. Like everything in the store, robot duck was marked up 150%. This is basically one of those ducks where you can buy a bulk bag of hundreds on a website like Oriental Trading, but here she paid two dollars for this single duck. But she deserved it for taking me into that place, and besides, Robot Duck is worth every penny.

Alright, this next thing is going to be less like paleontology and more like sociology. I’m talking some hardcore sociological findings, the kind of stuff that should make my blog famous and win me some kind of award in the scientific community. I should preface by saying I got this for free. So you can’t think I’m some kind nutcase for having it, because IT WAS FREE.

It was at the tail-end of the flea market when the sun was getting deadly in the sky and all the sellers were packing up. One guy was giving away everything at his table for free. Mostly it was a bunch of books. I ended up picking up an entire stack of books as well, but there was one thing sitting on the table that I simply could not leave behind.

At first I picked it up just because the artwork is so cool. But also because it represents an iconic piece of theme park history. The “Kongfrontation” attraction was one of the original rides to open in Universal Studios Florida, which was based on the equally iconic King Kong Encounter in Universal Studios Hollywood. Sadly, neither Kong attraction exists anymore, although the one in Hollywood was replaced by some wack 3D King Kong crap.

In Florida, the Kongfrontation ride featured many special effects which made it difficult to maintain, as well as maintaining two forty-foot-tall Kong animatronics with a fifty-four-long armspan. Together they weighed a combined twenty-one thousand pounds.

At the end of the tram-style ride, a Kodak booth was set up for visitors to take a photograph with King Kong:

HAHA. I don’t know why I find this picture so hilarious. I can’t believe I have this random stranger’s picture in my life, but I feel like I’m a better person because of it, and that the world is a better place because I’ve taken the time to share it. This guy could be somebody’s corny dad. He could be your corny dad. Or mine. Or he might not be anybody’s dad, and he might have gone to the park completely alone that day. Never knowing the full truth will always make me feel a little uncomfortable looking at this picture, but that’s what makes it special.

This picture captures something about 1990 in a way that no other picture can or ever will. And that’s why it’s sociologically significant, and if the media wants to request an interview with me, just let me know in advance so I can find a good sociologist’s hat to wear.

Finally, you might have noticed in the title of this blog the word “giveaway.”

I have an extra 1989 Batman movie Batmobile. Look at this thing. Hotwheels recently released a series of cars featuring the Batmobiles from all the different eras, from the 1966 TV version to the latest Batman Begins version. For me, it had to be the 1989 version all the way. I don’t even particularly care for Batman or Hot Wheels cars, but I LOVE the 1989 Batman logo.

So I bought two of them, and I want to give one TO YOU. But you have to WIN IT. How do you WIN IT? Leave a comment, and in the comment say who you think would win in a fight: the Ninja Turtles or the Street Sharks? Also include your email address in the corresponding field, but don’t worry, no one can see it but me. I’ll pick the winner at random on Monday and email them.

Alright, have at it. NINJA TURTLES OR STREET SHARKS?

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35 responses to “Stuff Post! Yard Sale Finds! Giveaway!

  1. street sharks for sure!!! turtles got nothin on sharks!!! plus the sharks fruit candy was way better than the ninja turtles ones

  2. STREET SHARKS…cause the one shark has roller blades…nothing beats roller blades.

  3. Are you trying to make me jealous? ;)

    Great finds!

  4. Although sharks are tougher and bigger in real life, I have to give the edge to my turtle-dudes. Turtles trained in the art of ninjitsu will always win against some muscular sharks. Don’t get me wrong, the Street Sharks look awesome, and I wouldn’t leave them behind if I found them somewhere, but the TMNT just have the right stuff. Turtles Forever!!!

  5. I cannot comment on who would win, but the sharks are very very jawesome. Best picture of a stranger in front of King Kong’s mouth I’ve ever seen…I hope you’ll have it framed. And that two-minute faster guy is such a jerk. I really hate him.

  6. I have a little recollection of Street Sharks, but much more knowledge of the Turtles (From comics, tv and movies) I understand what you mean about how cool sharks in pants can be, and the teeth…man those teeth could probably shred more than Shredder (The Turtle’s Moriarty) ever could. But then again, Shredder never could beat the Turtles could he? Corny comebacks and catch phrases aside, I’m going to have to side with the Turtles here. I mean they’re Ninjas, and they hang out with an awesome and hot lab assistant/new reporter chick and a guy with a sports violence fetish. I mean I know that the Street Sharks had Moby Lick, which is almost enough to make me call them winners, but Katanas, Chucks, Sai and Bo just kick too much ass for me side with the Sharks. So I’m calling it. Turtles over Sharks, but it’s a close match.

  7. NINJA TURTLES! BECAUSE ALL CAPS!

  8. I’m a TMNT fan from way back, but 90’s kids everywhere would be in tears about those two going at it. I think they’d have to hate each other by accident. I say someone goes around looting dressed in a shark suit and the Turtles immediately start looking for some fin to kick. They cross paths with the Sharks… SHOWDOWN. Then, of course, commercial-break. Sharks are totally puzzled about what’s going on, but ready to throw some Turtles through BUILDINGS!!! Right then, there’s a Tv playing in a storefront window and April O’Neil is reporting on some bum that’s robbing banks dressed as one of the street sharks. Finally hits them what’s going on…smirks all ’round. They tag-team on this guy and it ends with the pizza delivery dude dropping off 10 pies in the sewer and Michelangelo saying, “WHO ordered the anchovies?” Sharks chuckle. The end.

  9. The Ninja Turtles…and I’ll tell you why. Two reasons: their names and their allies.

    Leonardo. Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael. Ripster, Jab, Streex, and…Blg Slammu? Wtf? Those are the worst names ever. Those names reek of some executive in the ’90s trying to come up with “cool,” “extreme” names that the kids would love. You can’t take them seriously at all.

    Also, when you fight the turtles, you’re not just taking on them…you’re taking on a whole team of badassery. Splinter, Casey mothereffin’ Jones, Metalhead, Leatherhead, Usagi Yojimbo…so many more that I can’t think of at the moment. There’s strength in numbers. I’m not as well-versed in the Street Sharks or their allies, but a quick Internet search doesn’t reveal many allies backing up the sharks. The turtles are going to win by sheer numbers alone. And hell, according to Turtles Forever, you could bypass all the supporting characters altogether and bring together all of the different versions of the Ninja Turtles…once again, they would defeat the sharks by numbers alone.

    I thought of more reasons why I was typing this, but this comment is already long enough as it is, so I’ll spare you…but I think I make my point pretty well.

  10. spacemonkey1138

    Ninjas > Sharks.

  11. Dang, the Street Sharks are getting their fins kicked by the Turtles. Loving these arguments.

  12. I pick sharks. Sharks eat turtles. Turtles do not, nor can they, eat sharks. Although, the mad ninja skills of said turtles may even the fight. That being said, the ultimate shark would be, in the great words of Dr. Evil, “SHARKS WITH FRIGGIN’ LASER BEAMS ON THEIR HEADS!” Also, sharks scare me more than turtles. I would swim with turtles, even those with mad ninja skills. I would not swim with sharks, even those with pants. For all these reasons, and many more that I simply do not have time to mention, my money’s on the sharks.

  13. devonpack@gmail.com

    I’d have to go with the Turtles. You just can’t go wrong when you have a giant rat training you, you love pizza, and a hot reporter named April as a sidekick. Plus, I feel like they are the kings of my generation. Turtle Power!!

  14. I feel your pain; I have wandered in late and watched as great stuff walked out with another for super cheap on many occasions!

    Come to think of it, I’ve had too many Friday nights that have ended similarly. HEYOOOO!

    BTW TMNT over Street Sharks every day of the week!

  15. TMNT were nicer and faster but the Sharks had brawn and attitude on their side. They’d get in the turtles’ kitchen and keep them off balance enough to win. My son-in-law wants to BE Batman, so here’s hoping that I win this for him. He did give me a granddaughter, so I owe him.

  16. Street Sharks by a mile.

  17. The Sharks would lure the Turtles into a warehouse by advertising a free pizza tasting. Moby Lick would then use his tongue to surround the turtles so that they couldn’t escape the warehouse. Then Rox would shred pentatonics on his shark guitar at a speed so fast and at a volume so high that the Turtles shells would all shatter, leaving their weak, fleshy turtle skin exposed. Jab would then punch Rafael’s head off, Streex would rollerblade over Michelangelo’s stomach and disembowel him, Ripster would straight up eat Leonardo whole, and Big Slammu would punch a giant hole in the ground that Donatello, Splinter, April, and Casey Jones would all fall into and die on impact.

  18. Banking on the turtles for 3 reasons: 1) I had a “crush” on Michaelangelo when I was younger. Weird I know – but loved his personality :P In my head he wins ALL the fights. 2) They are ninja! Ninjas are badarse. In the debate of ninja vs. pirate…I’m all for ninjas. and 3) I’m pretty sure the turtles could talk down those sharks and instead of fighting they’ll all be chowing down on some PIZZA heehee. GO TORTUGAS GO!

  19. The Street Sharks will definitely win. Especially if it’s this one:

    My brother had that toy. Hell he probably still has it. You would twist a thing on its head any the tongue would twist and thrash all narly like. He would totally hammer a Ninja Turtle with that tongue :P

    danielle.e.jones@gmail.com

  20. If we were talking about real turtles and real sharks, the sharks would obviously win. But even though the street sharks would probably win in a fight, I still prefer the ninja turtles.

  21. There’s no way that’s an officially licensed He-Man bendy,

    And there’s more than 3 Toxic Avenger movies!

  22. Well, I’m going to say that the Turtles are on top, more because they have more experience and know the challenge of a fight. They have fought robot mice, hogs, rhinos, mutated human fly, and even rock monsters from Dimension X. On top of all that they even took care of regular crime. not much is know about the Street sharks and i think if they ran into the street sharks the turtles would make sushi out of them. That is all.

  23. Everyone who has posted their scenarios is totally brilliant.

  24. OMG!! I love when people show the toys they find in flea markets or yard sales. It’s amazing to see old stuff from 90s.
    I knew about the Street Sharks reading a forum many years ago. A child took photos of his toys and there they were: Street Sharks!

  25. My younger brother was a huge Street Sharks fan and we had continual fights as to whether Turtles or Sharks would win.

    Well let me tell you this – a mighty trio of Night Ninja Bebop, Samurai Leo and Heavy Metal Raph totally dominated those sissy boy sharks.

    My brother being 5 at the time might also have had something to do with it!

  26. Street Sharks all the way! They have killer teeth AND weapons. The Turtles would be toast. But it would be a good fight.

  27. I would have to say Ninja Turles all the way. They have hundreds of friends to call in for back up, against a rather pitiful number of sharks. Casey Jones alone could take out 3 or 4 easy. Although I could see April falling in love with one of the sharks all West Side Story style.

  28. Street sharks would win, hands down. They’re huge, muscly and have tons of teeth. All the angst of Raph couldn’t hold a candle to them.

  29. Ninja Turtles all day long! Street Sharks were great and all but c’mon…

  30. You basically have a battle of Shells vs. Teeth, and in the ocean i’d say the sharks take the turtles any day of the week. BUT…factor in the OOZE, martial arts training, and even the pants and I’d say the turtles have the advantage – especially on land. Plus the turtles eat anchovies on their pizza all the time which is only a metaphor for shark-meat in this case.

  31. Clearly, the ninja turtles. It’s not much of a contest. I grant you, the Street Sharks are cool. The Street Sharks are tough. They can crunch up pavement, make shark puns, and are generally tubular and radical in very sharky, teenage ways.
    But here’s the kicker.
    While both groups have fought their share of monster men and evil conglomerates, only one of the two is full of trained proffessionals. Street sharks were young men who were mutated. Athletic and good people, but human beings of no great significance, certainly not special agents or anything else.
    The Turtles have been trained by Splinter since their mutation, nurtured in a world where they had to fight for survival before they ever had to fight Shredder, Krang and the rest. They never lived with a roof, never had guarenteed food, and after mutation probably couldn’t even hibernate properly in the winter. They survived all the odds, and came out alive, dominant, and on top, defending the city in secret, and the well being of those who would scream if they ever saw their true faces.
    The Street Sharks have it tough in a similar way, but it’s all new to them- this is not a life they’ve lived since childhood.
    And that is why the Ninja Turtles would win.

  32. Pingback: My Top 10 Favorite Cartoon Sharks | ShezCrafti

  33. Have you ever come across karate kid toys? I have Daniel and the blond kid in the red at home, was curious if worth anything. Still do the kicking action… which hurts if you catch your knuckle!

  34. woah, i had that heman figure! if you ever want to part with him, let me know. Nostalgia bomb!

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