Halloween Countdown #4!

So there I was, at the grocery store figuring out dinner, again. The wife was working another late night and it was up to me to feed us. I was thinking tacos. Required vegetables, chopping. But before I got down to business in the vegetable aisle, I decided to take a swing through the Halloween section. I’d already been through it every other visit, too, but I never know what might strike me differently. And that’s how I came home with Mr. Potato Head.

Shopping is the way adults trick-or-treat. It’s the same as going door to door, only instead you go store to store checking out the loot. I hadn’t seen Mr. Potato Head before in my prior perusals. Instantly, we locked eyes. Multiple eyes. But I kept pushing my cart. Gotta save money. Really should save money. Gotta buy dinner. Just focus on dinner. I pushed past hefty bags of Snickers and painted gourds and papery wreaths in autumn colors. I began my second go-around the Halloween section. Once is never enough.

I paused again, in front of him. He was courting me with that multi-eye of his. This time I picked him up.

“I’m one a-peeling monster!”

The potato pun was too much. Too awesome. The justifications began to drown out my reasoning adult mind, whatever five cells are devoted to it. He was only eight bucks. A bargain. And really, this wasn’t just another toy like the other five I bought this past week. This was a Halloween decoration. A-ha. Very clever distinction, old brain. Very clever indeed.

Also, who the hell am I kidding? I’m going to buy anything with a multi-eye. I love you, multi-eye. I love you so much that if I could stick you into my own eye socket without bleeding dramatically, I would.

And my brain just kept going, the brilliant mass that it is. I’d downgrade dinner to frozen burritos, which is cheaper than buying a bunch of taco stuff, cancelling out the whole cost thing, too. Also, no chopping.

Now I wasn’t simply blowing money on another toy, but I was reasonably budgeting money for dinner and Halloween decorations. Plus, those frozen burritos are like organic and shit. I was also being healthy. Everyone knows that words like diet and organic and vegetable and Sun Chips are basically interchangeable.

Before you feel sorry for the wife, working a ten hour day who has to come home to limp microwaved burritos—no way. I totally spruced that ish up with guacamole and chips. WOW. I WAS ON A ROLL.

But let’s get back to the true star of my post:

This guy. He’s just so cool. I’ve seen Mister P. in other holiday variations and even other Halloween editions before, but this year’s monster gear definitely has a notch up on the others. This is that year for Mr. Potato Head—that year when his Halloween costume is truly firing on all cylinders. Think back. You only get that year once. It’s a special one.

I also discovered that playing with Mr. Potato Head even at thirty years old is still fun. With plastic potato as my canvas, the possibilities are limitless. Something about the Halloween costume and monster theme is particularly inspiring:

So there. I’ve found ALL THE GOOD MR. POTATO HEAD COMBINATIONS THAT THERE ARE. I’m fairly pleased with myself. I’m a master at Potato Head and a top chef in the kitchen. You’re swooning, aren’t you? A little bit.

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7 responses to “Halloween Countdown #4!

  1. Every October we haul up a big rubbermaid bin from the basement that’s filled with simpsons halloween toys, stuffed monsters and other scary nonsense. Our kids love playing with all that stuff, but the thing is it was all bought well before they were even born. One day you’ll make a really fun parent.

  2. I wonder what kinds of costumes monsters wear ?

  3. LOL, I would say “your poor wife”, but then again, she DID pick you, and I gotta assume she knew what she was getting herself into :P

    I saw that potato at target the other day. is it bad that the first thing I thought was “wonder if I should email a picture of this to the surfing pizza?” I read your blog too much, and I don’t even know you.

  4. This one had me peeling with laughter. ;-)

  5. I’m sad to admit that I’ve bought all the different holiday P-Heads, except for the Santa one. Going so far, when space became an issue, to throw away all the extra potato bodies, after storing the themed pieces however many bodies it took.

    So I’ll have to disagree with you about three-eye being a notch above the rest. I’ll remind you of the Indiana Jones Mr. Potato Head, with the fedora you could push down that played the movie’s theme song! That thing’s awesome. Crap, I just realized I could probably use that as a Halloween decoration and just say Mr. P-Head’s costume is Indy Jones. Win/win.

  6. That Potato Head scares the crap out of me! Nicely done!

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