Another day at the beach, another day of hot beach things to review. Let’s get started.
HOT BEACH THING #1: ZOLTAR FORTUNE
Yesterday I showed you the awesome Zoltar machine, and last night I went back to get my fortune told. It cost a dollar, which is a great bargain considering my entire future is printed right here on this yellow card. The Zoltar machine was embarrassingly loud, prompting everyone who walked by to undoubtedly comment that they didn’t know people still put dollars in those machines. My fortune is kind of creepy and kind of totally wrong, but I’d have it no other way. I’m totally playing those lucky numbers tonight. Will let you know how it goes.
HOT BEACH THING #2: GELATO
Gelato is awesome. A giant plastic gelato cone is awesomer.
HOT BEACH THING #3: FITTED LEONARDO
Yeah, I have a Leonardo hat. And it’s fitted! It’s styling and sun-protecting. PASS ME A GUN.
HOT BEACH THING #4: HANDI-SNACKS
I usually go for the crackers, but the pretzel rods seemed more right for the beach. Yeah, it doesn’t come with that amazing red spreading stick, but the rods do allow for some hot dipping action.
HOT BEACH THING #5: THIS BEAR
Not just any bear, but a bear no less rocking the tasseled denim vest. There’s a story behind this bear, and it’s not a very interesting one. Every year, we take a picture of this bear. The first year, it was just a silly thing while goofing off with the camera, but then it became a tradition. Oh, and believe me, we also pose individually with the bear as well, but those are for the private family album. We were thrilled this year to discover the bear had his own weird rigged pedestal. He usually sits on the ground in front of the store.
But then…look! Later that night, we passed by the bear again, and HE WAS ON THE GROUND:
THAT IS INSANE.
HOT BEACH THING #6: THIS HOT ASS JACKET
Actually, I don’t why this picture was on the camera. I think the girlfriend took it as a joke of something to show me as something she is going to wear when she’s a 70 year old woman. I have no idea, but I’ve decided to include in the list of hot beach things.
HOT BEACH THING #7: OUR NEW VIEW
The first two days of our beach trip we spent in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. We dig Rehoboth because there’s less teenagers and drunks, as well as the best brewery in the world, Dogfish Head, and also that bear in the tasseled denim vest. Then we head 27 miles down Coastal Highway for a few nights in Ocean City, Maryland. This is our new view. We were certain we wouldn’t have a view of the ocean from our balcony because we enjoy being negative—but hey, look, this ain’t too shabby!
HOT BEACH THING #8: SEASIDE COUNTRY STORE
Seaside Country Store has been our personal obsession after we heard an infectious jingle for it on the radio, once.
Seaside Country store!
We’re a little bit country but a whole lot more!
Most unusual store on the shore!
Seaside Country store!
Sure, the store was a little bit country, but also a whole lot more. I was certain those words contained multitudes. The store became legendary in our minds, and I was certain it was packed with mounds of awesome.
Back in the winter, the girlfriend and I took a daytrip down to Ocean City just to visit Seaside Country Store, and after a three hour drive, it turned out to be closed for the season. Don’t ask me why I didn’t look it up on the Internet beforehand. I wrote about the road trip back in February here.
Okay, so this was it. We were totally ready to experience Seaside Country Store.
Unfortunately, the store was a whole lot country and not a whole lot else. It was basically just a gift shop for old ladies, filled with jams and Christmas gooses and country ass candles. I was ready to leave after two minutes and never report another word about it. Maybe I’d sing the catchy radio jingle to myself, but only heartbrokenly while drinking. It wouldn’t be pretty.
But the girlfriend did end up buying something. She found some birds. “One is me, and one is you, and I thought they would look cute in the shadowbox in the bathroom.” So there you have it. Birds to represent us in the bathroom. We found that at Seaside Country store, and maybe you could, too! DREAMS COME TRUE FOLKS.
Alright, that’s it for today. Come back tomorrow! I’ll have more beach things!