The Surfing Pizza Reporting From The Shore – Day Two

Another day at the beach, another day of hot beach things to review. Let’s get started.


Yesterday I showed you the awesome Zoltar machine, and last night I went back to get my fortune told. It cost a dollar, which is a great bargain considering my entire future is printed right here on this yellow card. The Zoltar machine was embarrassingly loud, prompting everyone who walked by to undoubtedly comment that they didn’t know people still put dollars in those machines. My fortune is kind of creepy and kind of totally wrong, but I’d have it no other way. I’m totally playing those lucky numbers tonight. Will let you know how it goes.


Gelato is awesome. A giant plastic gelato cone is awesomer.


Yeah, I have a Leonardo hat. And it’s fitted! It’s styling and sun-protecting. PASS ME A GUN.


I usually go for the crackers, but the pretzel rods seemed more right for the beach. Yeah, it doesn’t come with that amazing red spreading stick, but the rods do allow for some hot dipping action.


Not just any bear, but a bear no less rocking the tasseled denim vest. There’s a story behind this bear, and it’s not a very interesting one. Every year, we take a picture of this bear. The first year, it was just a silly thing while goofing off with the camera, but then it became a tradition. Oh, and believe me, we also pose individually with the bear as well, but those are for the private family album. We were thrilled this year to discover the bear had his own weird rigged pedestal. He usually sits on the ground in front of the store.

But then…look! Later that night, we passed by the bear again, and HE WAS ON THE GROUND:



Actually, I don’t why this picture was on the camera. I think the girlfriend took it as a joke of something to show me as something she is going to wear when she’s a 70 year old woman. I have no idea, but I’ve decided to include in the list of hot beach things.


The first two days of our beach trip we spent in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. We dig Rehoboth because there’s less teenagers and drunks, as well as the best brewery in the world, Dogfish Head, and also that bear in the tasseled denim vest. Then we head 27 miles down Coastal Highway for a few nights in Ocean City, Maryland. This is our new view. We were certain we wouldn’t have a view of the ocean from our balcony because we enjoy being negative—but hey, look, this ain’t too shabby!


Seaside Country Store has been our personal obsession after we heard an infectious jingle for it on the radio, once.

Seaside Country store!
We’re a little bit country but a whole lot more!
Most unusual store on the shore!
Seaside Country store!

Sure, the store was a little bit country, but also a whole lot more. I was certain those words contained multitudes. The store became legendary in our minds, and I was certain it was packed with mounds of awesome.

Back in the winter, the girlfriend and I took a daytrip down to Ocean City just to visit Seaside Country Store, and after a three hour drive, it turned out to be closed for the season. Don’t ask me why I didn’t look it up on the Internet beforehand. I wrote about the road trip back in February here.

Okay, so this was it. We were totally ready to experience Seaside Country Store.

Unfortunately, the store was a whole lot country and not a whole lot else. It was basically just a gift shop for old ladies, filled with jams and Christmas gooses and country ass candles. I was ready to leave after two minutes and never report another word about it. Maybe I’d sing the catchy radio jingle to myself, but only heartbrokenly while drinking. It wouldn’t be pretty.

But the girlfriend did end up buying something. She found some birds. “One is me, and one is you, and I thought they would look cute in the shadowbox in the bathroom.” So there you have it. Birds to represent us in the bathroom. We found that at Seaside Country store, and maybe you could, too! DREAMS COME TRUE FOLKS.

Alright, that’s it for today. Come back tomorrow! I’ll have more beach things!

8 thoughts on “The Surfing Pizza Reporting From The Shore – Day Two

  1. Aw! I had such high hopes for the Seaside Country Store and its mounds of awesome. That picture looks like all the boring parts of a Cracker Barrel store. Zoltar’s fortune is fantastic! At least Zoltar just throws it out there and makes an actual attempt at a fortune. Unlike most fortune cookies that are just rehashed Confucious sayings.

  2. Handi Snacks with Mr. Salty pretzels?! I’ll have to find me some of those.

    I also had high expectations for the Seaside Country Store. Well, at least the jingle was cool. Can’t wait to see what’s next!

  3. Been going to seaside country store since I was a kid, and they took all the fun stuff away in the last couple of years. Still good fudge and candy, but that’s about the only draw. Too sad.

    p.s. I’m totally finding zoltar when I’m down.

  4. There’s a Zoltar machine at the crazy upside-down pyramid Pier in St. Pete, FL. It’s a con though, ‘cuz after you spend a buck getting your fortune read, you turn the corner and there’s an Elvis fortune telling machine sitting there! So you end up being out two dollars, ‘cuz who can pass up the King?

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