Halloween Breakfast Cereals Go Head to Head

Forget Rumble in the Jungle.
Forget The Thrilla in Manila.
This is the one.
This is the biggest.
Two classics from your childhood…
Two beloved cereal mascots…
Two Special Halloween Editions…
Two big, non-nutritive bowls of sugar…
are about to go…

HEAD TO HEAD.

Halloween Crunch !!!!!!!!!!!!
vs.
BooBerry !!!!!!!!!!!

BOX ART

The box is great. The Cap’n is part werewolf, and not a detail is missed. He’s got fur sprouting all over, even fangs. He’s against a spooky night backdrop, and the logo is green and creepy.

The selling point is the Crunchberries in the shape of ghosts that transform the milk GREEN. Ooooh. Oooooooooh. OOOOOOH. Actually, I don’t know how I feel about that. Leaky food dye kind of grosses me out. But maybe it will be really cool.

Bottom line: This box puts me in a Halloween mood, and I’m looking forward to Crunchberry Ghosts haunting my cereal.

First impression. Whoa. BooBerry, is that you? Why did they make him look like a creepy Uncle Chester with plastic surgery? Boo Berry’s new look is awful. He’s nearly unrecognizable, and also just very creepy, and not in a fun Halloween way. Also, the yellow eyes are a sign of jaundice, which is caused from drinking too much.

As for the rest of the box, the haunted house looming in the background is pretty cool, but minimalist. Give us some detail. And where’s the gimmicky promise? Where’s the toy? Where’s the gasping advertisement that this box is packed with sugary marshmallows? What’s in it for me?

Bottom line: Hey bitches, it’s me Boo Berry. Buy my cereal.

EDGE: Halloween Crunch.

BACK OF THE BOX:

The Cap’n has a convoluted card game where you cut out the cards and arrange them to create various monsters. Don’t play it. It’s rigged. A haunted maze would have been better. Just sayin’.

Bottom line: This is still better than a link to a website where you play a flash game of the same thing.

A comic strip depicting Uncle Chester—I mean Boo Berry, wearing a child’s face as a mask. General Mills, I’m less in a Halloween mood by the minute. At least we get brief appearances by our other old friends, Count Chocula and Frankenberry. But there’s some friends missing. This trio of monster cereals were once a quartet, filled out by Fruit Brute—though I think he had drug habit, because he was kicked out of the group to be replaced by the Fruity Yummy Mummy in 1987.

Bottom line: Bring back the Yummy Mummy, and then we’ll talk.

EDGE: Halloween Crunch

CEREAL:

The look is bland, limp, dull. The Crunchberries are not trying very hard to look like ghosts. They just look like malformed turds in a bowl of bland little squares that hurt my mouth when I chew. I have sensitive gums.

Taste: Regular old Cap’n Crunch. Nothing special here. I’m waiting for my milk to turn green before I can make a complete judgment. The clock is ticking, Cap’n.

In the meantime, let’s take a look at Boo Berry:

As you can see, this one is instantly more warm-blooded. The cereal is bright blue, with discernible ghost shapes, and even some nice contrast by the two-toned marshmallows to set it off. Also, as far as milk transformation, though not advertised, the milk turns blues instantaneously. Oooooooh. Oooooooh. OOOOOOOHHHH.

Here’s a loosely-related a fun fact: when Franken Berry Cereal was introduced in 1971, it contained a pink dye that was not digestible, causing your poop to turn bright pink. Oooooh. Oooooh. OOOOOHHHH.

Taste: Corn balls. But they’re bright blue. And there’s marshmallows.

Bottom line: It’s going to be pretty hard to beat blue dye and marshmallows.

Meanwhile, ten minutes into the transformation process, the ghostly Crunchberries still have not transformed my milk:

Bottom line: I mean, I can see where it’s trying to go with this thing, but overall, I’m just left with the feeling that my Crunchberries are defective.

EDGE: BooBerry.

NUTRITION:

Halloween Crunch packs 100 calories in a serving of 3/4 of cup. BooBerry is more straight and honest, listing 130 calories in a full cup. Crunch has 1.5g of fat, while BooBerry has only 1. Both contain similar amounts of sugar (12g), fiber (1g), and sodium (200g). Forget what I said about both being big bowls of sugar. Let me correct myself. These are actually big bowls of salt.

NUTRITIONAL EDGE: EVEN.

INTANGIBLES:

In the 1980s and 90s, the Monster Cereals used to be on the grocery store shelves all year long. They were discontinued slowly over the years until they only became Halloween annuals. We’re all still a little bitter about that. Cap’n Crunch, on the other hand, has never left us.

Cap’n Crunch never delivers on the promises on the box, and the Crunchberries never look like anything except Crunchberries. But the Cap’n does deliver regular special editions such as Baseball Crunch and Christmas Crunch.

WINNER:

Halloween Crunch.

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15 responses to “Halloween Breakfast Cereals Go Head to Head

  1. You poured a defective bowl of Halloween Crunch. It turned my milk green when I ate them.

    I was looking forward to having a bowl of Boo Berry, but he does look really creepy. It reminds me of rejected character from Casper.

  2. No way, man! Boo Berry is WAY cooler! blue milk, dude! blue milk!

    I’ve not had experience with the Fruit Brute or the fruity Mummy. now I need to investigate both!

  3. No way dude! Crunch will always be good, but Boo Berry is pure bliss!

  4. I hate to pile on, but I gotta go with the Boo Berry on this one. Cap’n has a cooler box and Boo Berry himself looks like a drunk barfly that smokes two-packs of Marlboro Reds a day, but when it comes to the actual cereal, Boo Berry looks a thousand times cooler with the dark crunchy parts and blue milk of death.

  5. No matter where I look I can’t find the damn Halloween Crunch this year. And it makes me sad.

    On taste alone, Cap’n Crunch is better. Boo Berry has the nostalgia X-Factor going for it that colors everyone’s memory. No one remembers that the monster cereals don’t actually taste that good. I’ve bought them the last few years and either the formula has changed or they were always just bland tasting with tiny marshmallows.

    Good article.

  6. Cap n Crunch is the way to go with taste . Yeah the Boo Berry has all the effects on the milk, but the taste could never top that of the Cap n

  7. I’m with everyone else. I’d take Boo Berry over the Cap’n any day. Even when the monster cereals were an everyday occurence , Boo Berry was always elusive. Maybe that’s why he has always been my favorite. While green is my favorite color, I have to say blue milk looks cooler(green remind me of slime). While Fruit Brute was off the shelves by time I was able to eat cereal, I did have a few boxes of Fruity Yummy Mummy, and they were pretty damn good.

  8. Come on now, you are swayed by the year round availability of other special editions? Must be sugar-rushing while typing…

    I wonder about the historical sugar content of the cereals and and how neatly they fit in to the all-sugar diet (Hostess pies for fruit!) of my youth.

  9. My work carries the Monsters year round.

  10. I do not like the new look of Boo Berry, Frankenberry, or Count chocula. They look terrible! Even my wife who doesn’t care about things like cereal says they suck.

    That Cap’n Crunch looks great. I must find those!

  11. Excellent review, I totally agree! What has happened to the Halloween cereal tradition? Aside from the Holy Trinity there use to be Jack-O-Lantern Jacks, Creepy Krispies, corn POPs had their version, etc. The Halloween merchandise all around has gotten lamer and lamer, I blame it on Christmas. You won’t find Boo Berry on the shelves three months before Halloween, that’s sad!

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