Beep bop beep bop boop bop

I have a special announcement. The girlfriend, as she has been known to the blog, is now the fiancee. Or perhaps, I should refer to her as the-future-Mrs.-Pizza. My Better Slice. One day, the wife. The player two to my player one. Or perhaps, I’ll let her be player one.

We’re young. We’re in love. We eat lard. This woman has agreed to spend the rest of her life with me. Everyone says congrats, and then follows it up by saying “she must really love you.” I wonder why they say that. I believe she does. I also believe she simply appreciates the inherent art of the Michael Jackson bust in our living room.

It’s true we have some different interests. I like toys and arcades. She likes quality wooden spoons that don’t melt on the oven. I read literary novels. She likes books where the author’s name is embossed on the cover in puffy gold letters. I like going to the flea market. She is afraid of people with neck tattoos. And yet she dutifully scours each table for obscure Mario figurines from 1989 and Wings LPs.

I love sharing my life with her, and my adventures like mixing together Ovaltine and Tang. Not that she actually tried any Ovaltang, but she believed in the brilliance of it. She believes in me. But she decided not to drink any, and instead, sat across the room shaking her head at me. I believe she makes smart decisions. She’s smart. I like that. I like when we drive down the road, singing along with catchy jingles on the radio. I like when we make tacos and she chops up all the ingredients into small colorful bowls. I like that I can talk her into ordering pizza instead of making rutabaga lettuce chunks or whatever healthy recipe she’s trying out.

She shares my joy for life. We have similar values and perspectives about the future, family, money–and important things–like gift giving. Because presents are awesome. Wrapped with bows, always ALWAYS ALWAYS in holiday-appropriate wrapping paper. People who wrap birthday gifts in Christmas paper are jerks.

Without her in my life, I would still have the protective plastic sheeting on my framed poster of Bob Dylan hanging on the wall. I’ve squinted at that glass for the last SIX YEARS wondering why it’s so fuzzy and blurry looking. Yesterday, she noticed that I never took the protective sheet off the glass. Bobby never looked so good.

She is my Ms. Pac Man. And me? I’m Super Pac Man. Being super anything is better.

I smell onions.


32 responses to “Beep bop beep bop boop bop

  1. the girlfriend

    I love that my interests can be summarized by kitchen utensils.

  2. LMAO! She has a great sense of humor, too. Congrats to the both of you!

  3. GREAT NEWS! Congrats…


  4. Huzzah! Let the confetti fly and the pizzas surf!

  5. Awesome. And congrats. May you both continue to unwrap life’s many layers of protective plastic sheeting together for years to come.

  6. You have a very exciting sticker collection. How could she possibly resist?!? Congratulations!

  7. Congrats to the both of you!

  8. Hope you are working on the reenactment. We love you guys, Mom

  9. Yay!!! Congratulations!

  10. Three cheers!!!! (I almost wrote ‘Three chairs’)

  11. Haha, this really made me smile. Congrats :)

  12. CONGRATS to you both!

  13. hooray! maybe some baby personal pizzas are in your future.

  14. shewalkssoftly

    Congratulations! I’m so happy for you guys! May you have a lifetime of toy related adventures!

  15. Congrats to you guys

  16. “Not that she actually tried any Ovaltang, but she believed in the brilliance of it. She believes in me.” This pretty much sums up the concept of True Love. Congratulations again!

  17. Wow, congratulations, Pizza! If she’s cool enough to enjoy your toy related adventures, then she’s definitely a keeper. I found one myself and I’ve loved every day of our 9 years together.

    May you guys have much happiness!

    Paxton Holley

  18. Yay! Congratulations. It’s nice to know that even weird people can find love. With normal people. It gives me hope for a brighter tomorrow, one with more stickers. And pizza. And the random, assorted junk and adventures that make life worth living. Here’s to you both!

  19. Congrats again!

  20. Those last two were me.


  21. Congratulations!!

  22. #1CabDriverinIowaCity

    This is easy to see how it could turn into a love story for the ages… Gone With The Wind, Wuthering Heights, Sixteen Candles, Supreme Deluxe…that’s you guys…
    Congrats you two. Forever young..

  23. Holy Moley! I completely missed this!! Congratulations! Sounds like you guys are a match made in Pizza heaven.

  24. Well, since I’m here late, and everything clever has been said, regarding pizza love & whatnot, I’ll simply say Yay! I’m also the other half to a “surfing pizza” type of guy, so I’ve always identified with the girlfriend, and enjoy it when she makes it into the blog. Congrats to you both!

    Now, get married quickly, because fiancee is very difficult and tedious to spell. Wife is much easier.

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