I want to show you these Ninja Turtle ornaments I found. One of our holiday traditions each year is new each pick out a new ornament for the tree–not like some crap from the pharmacy that comes in a box of six, but something that’s actually nice. (The post is titled TMNT Ornaments? Why yes…)
We go to this tree nursery that’s an ornament emporium. There’s lights, Christmas music, and 6943 coughing children. Last year I chose an M&M dressed like Elvis. Last year the girlfriend chose something a 90 year old grandma would pick out. This year I was going to go for 2009 Budweiser Clydesdales bulb. This year the girlfriend was going to go for something a 90 year old grandma would pick out.
But I saw Leonardo and it was a game changer.
Then I saw the other 3. What originally began as a quest to find The One ornament was now a quest to justify buying four. At $8 a pop.
No justification needed here. As you can see, this Michaelangelo is pretty much tailored for my life. He’s holding a glittery pizza, on The Surfing Pizza Christmas Tree. This gets me thinking. I know there is such a thing as edible glittter. Maybe I ought to make a real life glittery pizza for my post-XMAS bash.
For the record, the Surfing Pizza Christmas Tree is crap this year. It’s a small plastic tree. I hate plastic trees, but I’ve got no space this year for a real tree. I’ll give it this–the tree ain’t trying to be something it’s not. Those green squares aren’t supposed to mimic or resemble pine needs. It was a Wal-Mart special. $14.99. I loaded it with tinsel to see if it helped some.
Donatello’s bo staff as a candy cane is a brilliant touch. Another brilliant touch is my own here–I hung him over the manger. He totally witnessed the birth of baby Jesus. It was in episode 6 of the original Ninja Turtles cartoon.
I’m loving Santa Raph too. Merry Christmas to me. They’re a team. At $32 a pop. I’m sure I’ve overpaid. Those damn emporium prices. They’re charging you hidden fees for their delightful Christmas music and the joyous experience of 3358 children coughing on you. In fact, there’s no way in hell these things are worth as much as dinner at the Olive Garden.
But I’m overthinking it. It’s freaking Christmas, a time to waste money and loathe yourself. I’ve already promised the girlfriend that I think she’s going to hate all her gifts. She promised me that I’ll hate all mine too. AWESOME. (I know I’ll love mine. I think she might like 42.5 percent of hers.)
I just had another idea for a great post: The Surfing Pizza Drunk Wraps. I just don’t have enough time for all my genius. POST X-MAS BASH? U THERE?