Glorious Ball of Popcorn


I bought this bag of popcorn balls in a strange moment. I was in a grocery store where I never shop–a small, non-chain store. The unfamiliarity of the store lended all of the products a new gleam to them. When I saw this bag of popcorn balls, it wasn’t just like, oh hey–look popcorn balls. It was HEY LOOK POPCORN BALLS.

And well, I don’t really have anything else to say about them, except HEY LOOK POPCORN BALLS.



The girlfriend took these photos and I think they’re artfully done. This is one of the things we do on the weekends, photograph balls of popcorn.

I bought these balls back in September, and it was the first time I dipped my toes into the Halloween season. I should have started off having a Reese cup and a pumpkin beer, but instead I started by getting kernels stuck in my teeth. I don’t think I’ve ever even eaten a popcorn ball, and I don’t think I’ll eat one again.

I’ve got the rest of the bag to pawn off on Halloween night to trick-or-treaters (unless any roommates proclaim their undying love for popcorn balls–speak now or forever hold your peace). I’m thinking I’ll give them to the adults trick-or-treating for non-present babies. I can tolerate older kids on the cusp of being teenagers, but adults trick-or-treating under the ruse of a baby is a shame.

Exploiting a baby in order to gain candy? That’s worse than the balloon boy family. Also, anyone dressed as balloon boy automatically gets a popcorn ball. And anyone dressed as Sarah Palin automatically gets an OPEN popcorn ball that I licked.

11 thoughts on “Glorious Ball of Popcorn

  1. I’m curious: what’s inside these popcorn balls? Is it just popcorn rolled in caramel? ‘Cause that sounds pretty delicious.

  2. lol, I’ve never tried one either, but they don’t seem that great. Now, a rice ball from a good Italian place would be much better. How about a post counting down your favorite BALL shaped foods? lol

  3. Those things just look unnatural. Thanks for taking one for the team! I wonder if they would make good weapons for when snowballs or out of season!

  4. I’m from a town in canada small enough that it’s totally fine accepting homemade popcorn balls from people all over town and home made popcorn balls were by far my favourite part of halloween growing up there.

    Don’t let these store bought balls taint your opinion.

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