Shark Monday

Today is Shark Monday because I decided it was, and I am the great and powerful blogger. So Happy Shark Monday! Also it’s because I have two shark things to show you. Two shark things and one elephant thing.

First shark thing:

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I bought this shark beverage coozy at the thrift store, and it’s from Sharks Underwater Grill in Seaworld. I bought it as a reminder that I must dine in this underwater fish tank. What a drag it is to eat above water yer whole life. Just one day of my life, I’d like to dine under water, in an air-tight aquarium of course, with sharks teeming on the outside. I’m so ready for it. I’ve even looked at the menu and picked out what I would order.

There are no sharks on the actual Sharks Grill menu, just like there’s no actual girl scouts in girl scout cookies. That sucks, both about the sharks and the cookies. Guess I just have to settle on fingers in the Fish-a-Majigs at Friendly’s.

There is however an intriguing dessert on the menu called the Loan Shark Brownie. I love a good pun.

Second Shark Thing:

I summoned my inner-Spielberg to make this short film. I shot this about 6 times, this clip being the final masterpiece version. The other 5 are going to be released on the special edition DVD as a making-of featurette. What you’ll be most surprised to learn from my DVD is that it’s not a dog toy. This doofy looking fella is an actual Universal Studios licensed Jaws product.

One Elephant Thing:

I reenacted the circus in my bedroom with a couple of things I had lying around. Like oh, a remote control elephant. And a mini firing cannon. And a full-length LP of circus music. I’m a collector of junk. We have these kinds of things lying around. You’ll see I didn’t even bother to clean my room before videotaping it for the whole world to see. I just sort of shoved everything to the sides to make way for the elephant with red eyes. That thing is freaky. It’s the first thing that would try to kill me if the toys came alive at night.

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