The other night we carved up this jolly guy and ate all his innards. We also ate pizza, drank pumpkin beer, baked crappy cookies with ghosts on ’em, and pounded down some candy.
We played a Halloween CD I bought in the dollar section from Target, generically titled “Spooky CD”. It is a great example of the Japanese fundamentally misunderstanding our culture and Halloween in general. Some Japanese speaking over top of what sounds like a human sacrifice to the Tiki Gods does not make me think Halloween.
Tonight, I plan to sit on the porch handing out candy, dressed as King Kong with a Jason machete. The girlfriend is going to be a “zombie angel”. Angels are dead people and zombies are dead people, but they are not the same kind of dead people. That costume makes no sense. Well neither does mine, since Kong doesn’t wield a bloody machete. I hope to scare at least one 2 year old into crapping their pants.
We have Kit Kats, Nerds, Mike n Ikes, Hot Tamales, Butterfingers, Snickers, Twix, 3 Musketeers, and some Laffy Taffys, but I ate most of them myself last weekend.
I made a flow chart to determine how much candy to hand out. Hey kids! You can print and clip out this handy dandy chart to determine whether to treat or KILL your trick or treaters! Happy Halloween!