I’ve previously raved about Walgreens’ Halloween selection, where I bought a good chunk of my Halloween decorations this year, but I have not talked about CVS and their Halloween offerings yet. I don’t know what it is, but it seems to be that CVS attracts the sickest of the sick customers, the ones not just with the worst coughs, but the ones barfing up a lung.
So I was under duress looking at the Halloween selection, holding my breath, and trying my best not to breath in whatever the cougher was spreading. Then I saw a box of boogers. I had to “pick these”.
The box boasts that “these were picked out especially for you!” Charming! The booger flavors are Snottermelon, Sour Green Boogy, and Lemon Loogy. They taste pretty good; they are definitely high-class gummies, if you ignore the fact they’re modeled after nasal secretions. The melon flavor is perfect. It was difficult to take a proper photo of these things, because oddly, they kept photographing radioactively. They do not actually glow as they appear to in the photo below, and they are disappointingly plain looking, like green lumps. I would have taken a handful of these and pretended to sneeze them into my hands, but alas, I did not have an audience of 12 year old girls to gross out.
Then I found myself back in Target. Understand I’m a Target nut and I find myself there at least once a week, and I’ve seen their Halloween section at least 6 times since they put it up. I keep waiting for the unresistable markdown on Gummy Creep Dish Pizza or Monster Mojito Mix. I can’t bring myself to pay full price for that cutesy-wootsy stuff, but I’ll sure as shit pay half.
There I am, in the trenches again, and what do I find but a box of oozing Zit Poppers to go with my Boogers! Made by the same company, Chef Ghoulicious, this company also makes bloody scabs on gummy band-aids. What, no blood-filled hematoma gummies?
I love Chef Ghoulicious. He reminds me of the gross-out trading cards of the 80s, of which Garbarge Pail Kids were not the only ones, but certainly the most popular. I wasn’t sure if I was going to buy the Zit Poppers, but the promise of oozy, sticky goo inside sold me. Also, the word “zitlicious”.
The Zits were not as good as the Boogers. I never thought I’d type that sentence out. The zits are oozy and sticky indeed, a sugary, strawberry residue. I had imagined something like Gushers that wouldn’t get my hands all gross, but these are popped zits, so why am I complaining?
Zits v Boogers:
Packaging for both: Awesome.