Playing on the high voltage electrical transformer was one of the most fun things you could do as a kid. It was like a jungle gym with a warm comforting electric voltage. It was like playing with matches and running with scissors at the same time. It was like smoking. It was like drinking. It was like DRUGS.
The thing had a siren song I could not resist. Or maybe that was just the sound of the cancerous grounding hum. My parents had many rules, most of which I followed. Don’t talk to strangers? Fine. Don’t play with matches? Done. But don’t play on the high-voltage electrical transformer box that could electrocute you to death? Sorry, no can do.
Besides, if it was really so dangerous, there would have been an after-school special about it. Or a special filmstrip shown in class. A cartoon all-stars program. At the very least, a piddly PSA at the end of GI Joe. I trusted television for all of my most important information.
I openly defied the sticker on the side of the transformer than read WARNING DO NOT TOUCH. I mocked it. A picture of silhouetted man being shocked to death meant nothing to the ice cold water running in my veins. I was a daredevil. A rebel. A fearless dragon. The only thing that scared me was quicksand. Well—and that episode of Punky Brewster where Cherie got trapped in the refrigerator and almost suffocated. God, that was traumatizing.
Okay, fine, and jellyfish. They’re translucent blobs with tentacles. And Brussels Sprouts. They’re mini-cabbages. SCARY.
The transformer was fun for lots of reasons. Reason #1: it was called a transformer. I was always waiting for that thing to turn in Optimus Prime. Reason #2: It was a moon base for my action figures. Reason #3: I could do extreme stunts off of it. Like jumping and well—only jumping. But I could jump all the way to the sidewalk without touching the grass. And that arbitrary invisible line was like the Olympic finish line.
I was like Rocky always training for the big fight. I practiced my jumps on the staircase in the house, always trying to jump from the next step up. I usually chickened out around the fourth or fifth step, but with enough training, my goal in life was to jump down an entire flight of stairs.
I never did make it, and maybe that’s a shame. I could always start trying again, but I like my knees. I think they used to be made of Kevlar, but now they’re just made of ligaments and flesh. I was bionic, once. I’m human now. But I’m a fearless dragon forever.
I completely understand the transformer box love. It was always a base for tag and quite the platform to jump from. Then there was the day that changed it all. The power company told my friend and I to get off of it, not because of the possibility of electrocution but because they are FULL OF BLACK WIDOWS!!! Apparently the low frequency attracts them and they love to nest right where we used to play on.
That. Is Terrifying.
Why do I suspect that the power company dude was lying? Oh well, the lie worked. :-)
they just told you about the black widows to keep you off the box…..
We simply called ours The Green Box. Transformer is an infinitely cooler name. This post brought back a flood of memories sitting on that thing for hours: base, a podium, a bench, a perch for ninjitsu, a place to fight, a place to flirt, an endzone marker for touch football. It Never occurred to me until just now that that thing was dangerous. I guess the big warning sticker just becomes invisible when you see it your entire childhood.
I agree with you 100%. Like you it never really occured to me until I started reading this! I guess as a child your just programmed to tune out the potential hazards of whatever your doing as long as your having fun doing it!
Your comment is exactly what I was thinking as I read this blog post. We never thought of it as dangerous. I don’t think my parents ever said, “Stay away from that.” In fact, I’m pretty sure my dad and I used it as a table for small DIY gardening projects. It was our base, podium, bench, perch, and so much more!
Those things really were the best, great writing!
When I lived in Mexico, they are iguanas on top of them! My life was epic.
I had one of those in my front yard growing up. I know, I was a lucky kid. I still remember the way it warmed me on a cold winter’s day. Great post, brought back memories of something I hadn’t thought of in forever.
p.s. the line about training to jump down an entire flight of stairs was priceless.
Ahh we had one right on our lawn. I actually almost forgot about it and the adventures that surrounded it…thanks for the electrifying reminder (:
I love the way this ends. I hope to be bionic for a little while longer! Thank you for sharing.
Awww memories of my childhood! Nostalgia has set in. Thanks!http://socalmistress.wordpress.com/
The title pulled me in! haha, Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
How wonderful your’s was not surrounded by chain link fence with razer wire. I decided not to risk being torn to shreds by getting to the transformer. There were big drain pipes for exploring that opened to drop-offs into the see!
You’ve been Freshly Pressed! Congrats!!!
I spend my lunch hour almost every day reading your archives, and I’m happy for you. I like it when good things happen to deserving people.
Tip of the cap to you, Pizza.
As a parent you are making me feel guilty. I never warned my kids not to play on the transformer box on our yard. As a matter of fact I used it as a serving table to put all the refreshments on for the neighborhood kids.
Do you think I was a bad mom….hey everyone come to our house and hang out on the transformer box. Hmmmm wonder what other mistakes I’ve made?
Don’t feel bad, my mom never told me not to play on the transformer right in front of our town home. Me and my brother often used it as a base when playing hide and go seek. I never thought about how dangerous it was until reading this post.
“I’m a fearless dragon” you have a real talent. I almost cried when I read this :)
Our version of the HVTB was the well in our sideyard. Being in the country vs. city, all water was delivered to the house from the well via an electric waterpump.
Given my fear of heights, I guess I never really thought about the flimsy concrete pipe and cover which stood a little over a foot over the ground that led to the springs deep underground. If I had, I certainly never would have jumped, run, sat or hammered rocks on it!
Have you tried For The Love of Playing on the High-Voltage Electrical Transformer Box in the Back Yard?
We lived in a town-house complex with a pool with lifeguard and a common playground and a basketball court. The box was so much closer and more fun and the kids living close to the pool had no choice but to come all the way over to us.
Thank you for the fond memories of the transformer box. I was lucky enough to have encountered mine at my elementary school, just perched there begging to be used as a gathering point for the girls of my unpopular clique. We dubbed it the Green Thing, and despite being shooed off of it at least once a week by a teacher (yet never properly surrounded by a fence), it served as our perch for years, until we moved on to high school. I’m pretty sure the black widow lie would have effectively kept us off of it.
I am from India, and the transformers we have are pretty much what we were warned against. They would suddenly start sparking or perhaps burst into flames, resulting in a black-out for the entire neighborhood for a couple of hours. Well, black-outs were fun! ALWAYS fun.
This is hilarious! I used to play on our transformer all the time when I was growing up, too! Ours was surrounded by bushes on all sides, so it had all the perks for a regular transformer, plus was a little hideaway/castle/play fort. Horrors if my children are ever privy to one of these, but loved your post which brought back childhood memories for me.
Hey Friend! I like that we both read this and had the same experience! lol
Yeah…I was pushed off one in the 2nd grade by a 3rd grade girl during a game of King of the Generator. The result was breaking both bones in my forearm. Was back at by summer!!!
We had one too, next to a concrete bus shelter you could jump off, and very sharp metal spiky fence, with a huge jungle gym power transformer there too. Whoever built that bus shelter and spiky fence really knew what they were doing, it made the thing the best attraction in the street. Almost as good as the dog that with no teeth that would play fetch with rocks.
Seriously … an “after school special” – OMG i so remember those (and no, nothing about those odd looking boxes in the front yard) Yet all my neighbors yell whenever a child climbs atop one … strange thing to think about.
Funny post – I am glad that you survived your childhood.
This was a great post. Glad I took the time out to read it. Very nostalgic and humorous. The temptation to jump down an entire flight of stairs was real. Even if you were the only one in the world to know you actually did it, it didn’t matter. That was enough satisfaction in the world. Youth. lol. The ridiculous things we did or thought of doing that made life that much more enjoyable then and memorable now. Nice post.
- Mr. SoBo
Awesome! I can assure you, I’ve read more than enough comics to know that traumatic events like exposure to nuclear fallout or in your case extreme electrocution will not kill you, but give you incredible electrical powers. Besides, WWFDD.
WWFDD = What Would Fearless Dragons Do
I’ll always miss the simple thoughts of the simple days when simple ways was the greatest play.
i’m jealous. i didn’t have a transformer box to play on. i feel like i’ve missed out on something. do you think i should pursue it now? i can totally go look for one tomorrow.
I have finally gotten to have a transformer box on my property by moving out of the woods into a real neighborhood. I don’t like it. It’s ugly and I will not be jumping because I would probably die. But your post was very humorous.
I probably read the warning sticker from a safe distance, secretly wishing I knew what if felt like to leap from the edge of danger. Great post!
Transformers! More than meets the eye…
Loved this post; it brought back loads of fond memories … pretending to be the bionic woman (sound effects and all), leaping from the top of the monkey bars and feeling the sting in my ankles, and yes, playing king of the mountain on the giant transformer box. Good times, good times. Thanks for reminding me. You’re a great writer.
this brought back memories!! we used to lie about the stunts and backflips that we did off of these things but for some reason could never reenact when people were actually watching
This is awesome :) I remember laying on top of one of those and getting shocked when I was younger. It scare me enough to never get on one again haha!
Oh, me…oh, my. So much danger, so little time. We grow up too fast.
Loved your post! Will be reading more – congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
never played with/on the transformer but i did rely on TV for most of my important information. :D oh why do we grow. :(
Outstanding! Amazingly, it never occurred to me that we could have done “stunts” from the “green box”. We mainly just sat on ours while we waited for the bus. It was warm. And buzzy.
Our green box was right next to our propane tank – an enormous (to an eight year old) white submarine shaped vessel with an oddly intoxicating gassy aroma. Having spent the majority of my childhood summers within 50 feet of these things, I’m surprised I don’t have a third arm.
Great post – I especially enjoyed the Punky Brewster reference.
The title drew me in like a moth to the flame lol! Definately reminded me of a simpler time. Well done :)
Congratulations on being freshly pressed! Great post! I loved reading it!
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Carlos
Yes! Mine was a green phone box opposite the house. It was the finish point for rollerblade races down the street, home when playing ‘it’, the stage from which the girls on the street (who I may or may not have fancied) performed their Spice Girl concerts, and in later life a drop-in box for skateboarding.
I never had anything as cool as a transformer near where I lived, but when I used to go to my cousins we had an area we used to hang out at, a few benches, some low walls and a whole bunch of us used to hang out there, with out boom boxes bellowing out the latest music (on metal cassette). Oh they were the days.
Uh. Yes.
Reblogged this on Wonderments and commented:
Hilarious. I miss the green box.
I once had a fellow cul-de-sac mom ask me, “so, you are really safety minded, do you think it is safe for my child to play on the transformer box?” He was already ON the box when she asked this question.
That episode of Punky Brewster was traumatizing. Also, roadblock did a psa about downed powerlines… so was there a principle there? Or was his silence (his beautiful rhyming silence) a statement in and of itself.
This was WONDERFUL! Talk about the “Green Box Generation.” I have enjoyed the comments just as much as the blog itself. What a great memory booster indeed! Ours was filled with bees. Somehow I was the only one on our block that was never stung. In fact my first bee sting was miraculously at the age of like 26 or so. The kids used to whack the transformer with baseball bats and hockey sticks to get the bees to attack us all. Yes. On purpose.
I would have to say this is the best childhood post I have ever read.
Bravo!
wow! This brings back memories!!! great post!
I don’t understand how our species survived! No bike helmets , no car seats ,no seat belts etc. It is a testament to the hardiness of the human race. :)
I did the same thing, funny when I read your blog post now.
I loved transformer boxes as a kid. I’d touch it just for the pure sake of doing it, but I never jumped off of one (I left that feat to the boys). I mainly like to walk past them now as an adult and listening to their buzzing doom.
Great post.
This was a very cute retrospective. :)
I too could never resist the transformer boxes. I do not really see that many out in the open now. Most of the ones I see have some sort of gating around it. Please, like that would stop me as a kid. Death-defying obstacles were the best! Thanks for bringing back some great memories.
I did not have too many transformer boxes to play on but I did grow up on a state ran farm as a kid there were endless temptations. I mean the left tractors with unlocked cabs all over. No keys, so I am still alive but it was fun to sit in and pretend.
Oof, I don’t think I would want to go near one of those after a transformer caught fire near my neighbourhood years go. The thing took out power for three blocks, since then I stayed clear of those lol
We had one too! You totally took me back, thank you for the sweet memories!:)
Haha, “The transformer was fun for lots of reasons. Reason #1: it was called a transformer. I was always waiting for that thing to turn in Optimus Prime.” Still waiting for this thing to transform, how about at your side? :)
Haha.. that’s so hilarious. Then again, I DID see a pediatric patient in the emergency department who came in after being shocked by one of those, and he lost vision in both eyes. THERE SHOULD be a TV special on those things!
Reblogged this on Cheyenne Charlie Kay Home Repair and commented:
Before you are your family, or anyone digs up your lawn for a new tree, footing, or sprinkler, call for a free utility marking of your property. I have personally dug into 230volt lines running under sidewalks and sod, NOT deep or predictably placed. THAT is the greater danger, where YOU become part of a circuit of amperage passing through your body. Sprinkler heads and piping is not dangerous, nor locked utility boxes.
Loved, loved, loved this. I was driving down the road in my smallish town the other day and I saw a block of homes that had these same utility boxes all installed squarely in their front yards, but they had all constructed little houses for them (I guess) to make them less unsightly. The first thing I thought was: PLAYHOUSE! As if kids needed more reason to make them look fun. Thank you for sharing this!
Wow! Good post. I have to agree with a previous poster in saying that until I read this I’m not sure my brain ever pieced together that this was a dangerous piece of equipment. We just called it the Green Box also. Warning stickers – ignored! It’s not like I was going to open it up or anything. But it WAS the safest place in the yard to keep away from the sharks. Glad I took my chances…I don’t like sharks.
I miss them.
Reblogged this on Freshly Pressed.
Many lost hours after reading the piece, because then I needed to read everything you’ve ever written. I cannot stop giggling over T Rex at the Nativity. What a gem to find. Will share with all others who adore Things That Should Not Exist. xoxo
I now yearn for the childhood memories I didn’t get to have because my dad chose the house with the biggest backyard in which to build a workshop that created a clubhouse on the roof under the willow tree overhang.
Sort of…
LIke another commenter upthread, we called ours “The Green Box” also. It was the rendevous for my best friend and me to discuss deep philosophical ideas. It’s true, we called it ‘philosophizing’, I have no idea where we picked up that concept; we were only in middle school. We either have super powers or are sterile from sitting on it.
I though they made the best cornerstone of totally awesome forts!
I never had one where I lived growing up, but where I live now I do. I’m always telling my 3 kids to stay away from it, because the warning on it scares me. After reading your post, I feel old! But funny story nonetheless! :)
Or how about pretending you just got shocked like on the sign. I mean it is always fun to reenact a sign like that one on the side of green transformer box. I mean any kid who can twitch on the ground and start to foam at the moth pretending they are dying from being shocked is cool right? They made great picnic tables and podiums to declare some amazing facts or thought process to others standing around also a place to stand and wave to all the passing cars.
I loved your reference to GI Joe! I miss watching it to hear what Sergent Slater said at the end of each episode. I mean no one else taught me safety except him.
*LIKE!!* Ooh, those “ice cream days”…
This was a really fun read lol, mainly because I can identify so much with this. I’m pretty resistant to everything, and I know I have my transformer boosting, tree climbing days to thank for it. Every time the roof gets clogged mom still asks me stop by on my way home. It takes me like 2 minutes to clamber up and get working. Le siblings have to wait for proper light and cleaning apparatus and stepladders and all that wimpy stuff. :-P
Reblogged this on Oyia Brown.
Excellent post! Growing up in rural Ireland, we didn’t have a transformer but there were plenty of other no-go zones on a farm that were duly (and quietly) infiltrated when the adults were elsewhere! Oh the memories!
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My dog always wants to pee on those and I never let him, but I can’t explain to him why not..I think he hears the siren song, because he is so drawn to them! :) Thanks for bringing a smile to my face while my boyfriend watches the superbowl!
Beautifully written, and although I’ve outgrown my childhood, we still have one of those in front of my parent’s house. Every time I’m outside, I have to go over to it and sit down on it. It’s like visiting with an old friend that you haven’t seen in awhile, so you start catching up and get caught up with talking about you’re childhood for hours. When ever I see it, it brings back memories of my childhood, flooding into my brain. And every time, I just have to smile. I loved your writing piece, I’m glad to know I wasn’t alone :)
We never had these in the UK. I now feel as though I have missed a part of growing up. :)
Reblogged this on JoSaid.
I was bionic once too. No longer, I fear. Great post.
Reblogged this on DahFuke.
i love your blog and this reminds me of all of the death defying things we did as kids and it’s amazing any of us are alive to tell our tales – hiking in the underground storm sewers, picnic-ing on the cliffs of the gravel pits, riding bikes across busy roads like in frogger, and on and on – best, beth
This is flipping hilarious! My grandmother had one of these in her front yard and that was the first thing we ran to after giving her hugs and kisses. No ice cream or nonna cookie could tempt us away from the voltage box! Thanks for this. Brings back lots of memories!!
Loved this post!! Brings back memories of the 70s for me and my neighborhood….we didn’t listen to the warnings either. Do they still have those in residential neighborhoods? I’m gonna have to look into it!
We used to jump off of swings and see who could land the farthest! Now, I’m lucky if I even let my feet leave the ground when frequenting the swing set at the park…. ohh the traumatic brain injuries that could have been (shudder).
Ah yes…the good old transformer box. However could a child resist?
Awesome post…I’m still traumatized about a filmstrip on bus safety…aw, sweet childhood.
Great post!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. I love your style and look forward to reading more! :)
Glad I found you and your memories/imagination on Freshly Pressed…made me wish my son had a transformer box to play on. Now I’m gonna have to go hunt one out.
NAILED IT. Great piece.
To me, that was the Electrocution Box of Death, and I never went near it. My parents didn’t even have to warn me. I saw the sticker on the side. When Jurassic Park came out and whats-his-name pretended to get electrocuted by the fence, and then the boy actually did! I vowed never to even get close to one again. I have kept that vow faithfully.
Then, one time, I touched an electric fence. Because after years and years, Jurassic Park made me too curious not to. To my disappointment, it wasn’t electrified after all.
We used to use ours for home base in all games of tag. That thing could really burn your legs when you were wearing shorts! I also was trying to jump down all of the stairs by going up one every time. I never made it either, alas. This post makes me miss childhood!
I was the fortunate child with the transformer box in her yard. We called it the “electric box”. I remember hours of playing on it – it hummed nicely and sometimes vibrated a bit, so we put BBs and pebbles on it to watch them vibrate off the edge. We also played with the large outdoor fan that was part of the central air conditioning system, since it changed our voices so well when we spoke directly into it. Great memories!
I clicked this for the fact of the pic. LOL. I too tell my girls not to play on it, yet they still do. I am sure I did the same thing. Thanks for the laugh. It is dangerous by the way.
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Love the title- love your writing style. SO FUN! YAY! another great blog to follow!
Hilarious. We had those in our neighborhood, too. The real shame is that kids today will never have the kind of relationships we all had with our local transformer box because they only leave the house to catch the school bus. Playing outside? Oh, no…you could get winded or get a grass stain on your skinny jeans. Better to stay inside, play a video game and schedule your appointment for the carpal tunnel syndrome surgery you’ll need to have by the time you’re ten.
Mine was the AC fan-unit-thing beside the house. The giant fan would spin beneath me when the AC came on in the house, and I’d imagine falling through the vent and the chopping of limbs! Yes, I love horror films.
You’re funny at word play. So I followed you. I like them transformers too :)
Anyone who has any fond memories of these boxes, imagine if someone tried to take those away from you.
I am a university student, and I too love the transformer boxes. I’ve never had any problem with them, and I’ve been using them for years as vault boxes for gymnastic practice. I like to use objects in my environment to train, rather than paying an expensive gym membership.
Recently, however, a new campus officer told me that if I so much as bumped them the wrong way, I would electrocute myself to death. Now going off my own observations, the transformer inside is housed by a thick layer of steel that would require power tools at best to penetrate. I’ve vaulted over them and even dropped down onto them, and in doing so, I’ve never observed the slightest warping in the structure of the box. So I came to believe that the danger was in tampering with them, as in opening them up and fooling with the contents. I respect authority, but I’d like not to be told not to do something that is neither dangerous nor illegal.
So I was wondering if anyone could tell me specifically what the danger of the box is.
Oh my gosh that Punky Brewster episode was totally traumatizing! Great reference. Great post!
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